outbursts and that it’s not his fault. I don’t want him to carry that guilt, that burden. “When can we tell him?” I ask, at the same time she says, “You can’t see yourself living here, can you?”
For a long moment, neither of us respond to either question. We just stare at each other, hundreds of unanswered questions floating between us like a kaleidoscope—the same mirrored images reflecting our hopes... hopes that are forever changing.
Chapter Seventy-Five
Mia
“This is so cool!” Benny gasps, walking into Leo’s temporary apartment. It’s Saturday morning, and we’d just flown in. Instead of going to the farm this weekend, we’re staying with Leo.
Leo had been the one to mention it since the rock and mineral museum he wanted to take Benny to was near his apartment. So for tonight, we’re staying here, and we’re “camping.” When Leo found out that Benny had never been camping—never even seen a tent in real life—he had to make it happen. Now Benny’s walking around the tent set up in Leo’s living room, his eyes almost as wide as his smile. “Can I go inside?” Benny asks in excitement, kicking off his shoes.
Leo drops down on his knees to unzip the tent. “Go for it!”
Benny squeals with excitement when he steps inside. “Which one is my bed?”
“The blue sleeping bag,” Leo says through a chuckle.
I lower myself to sit beside Leo and look inside. There are two sleeping bags, one smaller compared to the one beside it. There’s a small foldable table between the heads of them with books stacked up, and on the edges of the tent are all different rocks. There are flashlights on each of the pillows, a box of glow sticks, a sketchpad, and crayons. “You went all out, huh?”
Leo nods, smiling as he watches our son flick the flashlight on and off. He closes the zipped opening of the tent just long enough to kiss me quickly. “Hi,” he says, his grin widening. “How are you?”
“Good.”
He nuzzles my neck. “I missed you bad these last couple weeks.” I giggle, feeling the butterflies swarm through my stomach. Only Leo’s ever made me feel like this—these water tower feelings—and even though we still haven’t done it, I can’t get enough of him.
“Me, too.” I laugh when he gnaws gently on my exposed collarbone. “Stop it!”
“Stop what?” Benny calls out. “What are you guys doing?”
I push Leo away. After New York, we decided it would be safer not to show too much intimacy around Benny. We didn’t want to confuse him, and since Leo and I are confused enough as it is when it comes to us and our future, adding Benny’s emotions to it might just destroy us.
“Nothing,” Leo says, parting the opening again. “So this is just a trial, okay, bud? And if you can stay the entire night in the tent, then once I finish at the academy we can go on a real camping trip in the woods.” He glances at me, grimacing. “If it’s okay with your mama.”
Benny crawls headfirst into his sleeping bag. “How long?” he asks.
“How long what?”
“Until you finish.”
“I finish in one month,” Leo tells him.
“How many years is that?”
Leo chuckles. “It’s four weeks.”
“How many years?”
“It’s less than a year.”
Under the blanket, Benny shifts until his head pops out. “How many days?”
“28 or so…”
“So how many years?”
Laughing under my breath, I poke my head inside, take a better look, and pout dramatically. “Where am I going to sleep?”
“In my bed,” Leo answers. “This is a boys’ camping trip.” When I scowl at him, he shrugs. “Sorry.” He’s not. Not even a little bit.
“Yeah, Mama!” Benny laughs. “Boys only!” He sits up, his legs still buried in the sleeping bag. Then he looks around, his eyebrows slowly dipping. “Where are all the snacks?”
“The snacks,” Leo repeats in a whisper. “Dang it.”
“You don’t have to—” I start, but Leo’s already on his feet, grabbing his phone, keys, and wallet from the coffee table. “Leo, you don’t have to go now,” I try to convince. “We still have to go to the museum.”
“But snacks,” he says. He shakes his head, his brow furrowed. “How the heck did I forget the snacks? They’re pivotal to a boys’ camping trip.”
“We can get them later!”
He already has the front door open. “Any requests?” It’s like he doesn’t hear me at all.
“S’mores!” Benny yells.
“Right.” Leo nods. “So fire of some kind.” His eyes do that distant thing they do when he’s deep in thought. “I’ll be back.” He