remember, and he’s played such a pivotal role in my life and my son’s. He’s been there for me through everything. He was even in the delivery room, though he refused to stand anywhere but right next to my head, holding my hand. All the doctors and nurses assumed he was the father. He didn’t correct them. When he went off to college in Boston, he started living the typical college life, and I was busy being a mom, but still—he’s forever there, on the outskirts, whenever I need him.
And I need him now.
I release all the air in my lungs as I look at him, right into his eyes, knowing he’ll understand without me having to say a word. He settles a hand over mine. “It’ll be fine,” he says. “I’m right here, and Benny—he’s going to have a blast. We’ll make sure of it, okay?”
I nod, even though I don’t believe him. “Okay.”
When I told Leo that Holden would be joining us, he didn’t seem the slightest bit fazed. He was excited to see Holden again, and to be honest, I’m pretty sure Leo’s half the reason Holden jumped at the chance. It’s been five years since they’ve seen each other, and I doubt much has changed. These two had some weird—what Holden calls—bromance, and even though he’ll brush it off if you ask him, Holden was hurt when Leo blocked him out of his life. When Leo re-entered our lives like a clichéd wrecking ball, there wasn’t a single negative thing Holden had to say about it. He’d always wanted Leo to know, but he never pushed to make it happen.
A knock on the door has Holden smirking at me. “There’s mommy and daddy,” he says through a chuckle. Yep. Our parents are here, too. They didn’t want to miss out on a chance to see Benny in costume, but more, they wanted to meet Leo’s family. Thanks to the help of intensive therapy, they all know what I went through that last summer at the Preston house, and they want to be there for me just… in case.
Holden swings open the door, and our parents gush over Benny in his costume. Phones come out, pictures are taken, and Benny basks in the attention. A minute later, we’re walking out of the room and down to the same lobby Leo had handed me Dad’s divorce papers. We pile into the car, and then we’re on our way to the place where my dreams went to die.
I don’t want to be here.
But then Benny turns to me in his car seat, his smile from ear-to-ear. “You think Leo will like my costume, Mama?”
And I smile, for him. “I bet he’s going to love it.”
Chapter Eighty
Mia
My pulse pounds in my eardrums, my hands shaking so feverishly I can’t even unbuckle Benny from his car seat.
They’re all here, every single one of the Preston boys.
When we pulled up to the house, they were waiting on the porch. Leo had said that he’d handled it—whatever it was—and that everything was fine and I had nothing to worry about. Still, I worry, not for him or Benny but for me.
I don’t want to be here.
“Hey, you good?” Leo says, standing beside me, his mouth so close to my ear, I can feel his warm breath flood across my neck. Another time, it would have set off the butterflies, or at the least comforted me. Now, it just agitates me. “Here, I got it,” he says, carefully moving me out of the way to undo the seat belt.
“Benny! My little man. I missed you, buddy!” His voice is calm, a complete opposite of everything inside me. He helps Benny out of the truck, taking his hand, and I see him and Holden greet each other. But it’s like I’m watching a movie… from below the surface of a lake.
A lake.
I don’t want to be here.
Everything is a blur, voices muffled, and I can’t even focus enough to listen to the introductions. It’s not until Holden stands beside me, his hand gentle on my shoulder, that I blink, come to. I look up at him, and he offers an assuring smile. “You got this,” he mouths. “For Benny.”
I nod. I do got this.
“Deep breaths, Mia Mac,” Holden whispers, and so I inhale as much air as I can handle, let it out slowly, and refocus.
“I love your costume, buddy,” Leo says, squatting down in front of Benny.
“I dressed like you!” Benny shouts.
On the porch,