frustration.
“I nearly turned fully, Winnie,” he told me, making me nod in understanding before telling him,
“But you didn’t.”
“And what do you think would have happened if I had turned… did you think about that!?” he barked back, making me wince as I hated it when he shouted at me, even despite knowing that I deserved it right now. Because the truth was, Adam rarely ever shouted at me which meant that when he did, I could never handle it. Of course, I also knew that when I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand, he would hate seeing it too.
“But yyy…ou did…n’t,” I hiccupped out. He tensed as if fighting with himself on what he wanted to do and what he thought he had to do.
“I could have ripped this place apart… I could have destroyed this whole fucking place and hurt… damn it, Pip, I could have hurt Amelia!” he shouted, as if the very thought brought him even greater pain and he was right, it was foolish.
“I didn’t… I didn’t think.”
“That’s right! You didn’t think and that’s the problem, Winnie, you never fucking think!” he shouted back, making me flinch as if he had struck me by his own hand… something he would never do. But then the second he saw the pain he had inflicted by his words, he let out another sigh, and this one had his own regret written all over it.
“Winnie, I shouldn’t have…”
“No. You’re right… you’re right as always, Adam… I…I think you should just… I should just…” I stopped then and burst into tears before running from the room, hearing only one thing as I did.
A whisper from the only man I’d ever loved…
“Oh, Turtle Dove.”
Three
GUILTY IMP
I ran.
I ran and Adam didn’t follow.
That was huge. No, that was planet sized colossal, because Adam always came after me. He hated seeing me upset and always tried to dry my tears. Not that I cried for that reason. Come on, I was a crazy handful, but I wasn’t a manipulative bitch. In fact, I hated getting upset in front of people. I hated making people feel uncomfortable around me and well, a never ending stream of tears running down my face usually did that. So I always tried to cry alone. Of course, Adam was always usually there, even if I tried to hide away. Because he was my comfort blanket. He was my saviour, my protector, and my knight in demonic skin and a nerdy vessel combined.
Adam was my everything.
Of course, after being together since the 1600’s, I couldn’t exactly claim this as the first time I had pissed him off… I mean, this was still me we were talking about here. But no matter how much I had messed up in the past, he had never let me cry alone…
Not once.
Not in over four hundred years.
“Gods, just how much can you screw up, Winifred?” I asked myself, before I let my hands catch my head as I cried into my palms. Then I shuddered and let out a stream of hiccups that came out when I tried to breathe through my pain and guilt.
I was a fool.
But the truth was, I had to keep pushing him.
It had been my only warning of what would happen if I didn’t.
In the end I don’t know how long I stayed out on that rooftop, sat staring out at the rolling green mountains. Mountains that seemed to go on forever and if an alien come to this planet and landed right here not knowing any better, they could think these mountains covered the Earth they were so big. Man, but I kinda wished some Scotty would have beamed me up just then and to save the world they needed my help. But in doing so, had to turn back time so I could tell my younger self not to make that stupid note!
Damn you Star Trek for not being real!
I don’t know how long I was out there feeling sorry for myself but by the time I went back to the sitting room, it had been long enough for momma bear and baby bear to be back.
“Here, Wanty Pip, I brought you back a cookie with extra prinkles… I mean spinkles,” Little Bean said, making my broken heart melt back together.
“Thanks, mini bestie,” I said, putting a smile on my face which was basically like my armour. Then Toots came up to me and gave me a hug before framing my face with