more do you have to say? What more can there be?” I have my eyes narrowed at her, and I notice the way the tip of her nose has turned red. Is she about to cry? Fuckin’ Hell.
But she doesn’t. She sniffles a little and rubs her nose and then looks up at me again.
“After…uhm…after I made all the arrangements for you to…to…”
“To live with strangers, yeah, I know that part,” I snap.
“I found out I was pregnant.”
The ground is spinning under my feet. What did she just say? What the fuck did she just say?
She can see the rage rising in my eyes, so she starts speaking fast now, in the hopes that I won’t interrupt her before she’s had a chance to say everything.
“I…I didn’t know I was pregnant. I was several months pregnant. I had no idea. I was so devastated and angry and confused and just…exhausted, Reed. I was emotionally exhausted.”
“You had another kid?” I growl. My hands are clenched. So is my jaw. I can barely get the words out.
My mother nods her head.
“Yes, honey. I gave birth to a baby boy a few months after we parted, your brother.”
I close my eyes, trying to steady myself. All this while, I’ve had a brother. I have had a whole family all my life that I didn’t know about. I want to shout. Break something. Punch the wall. I don’t know what to do.
“His name is Kirk,” she adds.
26
Ella
It’s Sunday, and I’ve been in bed all morning. I just don’t feel emotionally or physically capable of getting up and getting on with the day. Then the doorbell starts ringing. Over and over again. It must be Gigi.
I drag myself out of bed. I’m still in my pajamas and an old oversized t-shirt. When I open the door, I see Kirk on the other side. He has a coffee for himself, a tea for me and also a big bag of muffins and Danishes.
“I thought you could use these,” he says and walks in. I didn’t invite him in, and I’m not sure how I feel about having him in my apartment. It’s not that I don’t trust him, I just feel awkward after everything that happened yesterday.
We were about to kiss…even though I didn’t particularly want to. Then Reed roughed him up, and Kirk just left.
“I don’t think I’m in the mood for company right now. I’m sorry,” I say. He has already walked over to the kitchen counter and is now arranging all the food on a big plate. It’s weird seeing him make himself this comfortable in my apartment. He has never been in here before.
“No problem. You don’t have to lift a finger. Lift your feet up instead. Sit down. Get comfy. Eat something. It’s almost noon already.”
I’m about to protest, but then I remember I haven’t eaten anything. I should. I need to keep myself well-nourished for the sake of this baby.
I go over to the couch and sit down, scanning my apartment to make sure it looks decently presentable. But it doesn’t seem like Kirk cares. He’s barely even noticed my place.
When he comes over with the drinks and the food, he has a big smile on his face.
“Try this. Lemon and poppy seed. It’s crazy good!” he says, pointing at one of the muffins. I pick it up and take a bite. He’s staring at me the whole time for my reaction.
“Yeah, good, thanks. You really didn’t have to do this for me.”
“Oh, yeah, I know. I wanted to. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” He sits down in a chair near me and picks up his coffee.
I’m wolfing down the muffin now, suddenly realizing how hungry I really am. Kirk is staring at me, watching me carefully.
I know it’s going to come up. It has to…what happened yesterday.
I wash the food down with some tea and open my mouth to speak, but Kirk is already shaking his head.
“I don’t need an explanation for what happened yesterday. I just want to make sure you’re doing okay.”
I am grateful. The last thing I want to do right now is explain. I have literally spent every waking moment since yesterday going over everything in my head. Everything Reed did and said. What it all means.
“Yeah, I guess I’m fine. I wasn’t expecting him to be here.”
Kirk nods.
“If you are thinking of apologizing for him, don’t. You don’t have to. I can see how you drive men crazy. I can’t even blame