we were all together. What a perfect couple Ella and I made. And now, they haven’t heard from me in nearly three months. By now, they will have tried to find me, and I’m hoping they reach a dead-end soon and just give up.
If Jerry is resourceful enough, he might find some information about me and my work online, but there’s no way he’ll be able to reach me directly. They will never find out where I live.
Even though this is exactly what I thought I wanted—no connection with my so-called family—I can’t help but feel some sadness. I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to do it on purpose. I just want to be left alone.
My phone buzzes. It’s Jay. I answer as I splash my face with water.
“Where have you disappeared to, man? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all this week.”
“Yeah, been busy. Dubai. Geneva. I just got back yesterday.”
“Okay, cool. Tennis tomorrow?” he asks.
“Yeah, sounds good.” We haven’t played in a while. I need it. I need to get rid of all this negative energy.
The call ends, and I look at myself in the mirror again. I need to shave. I need a haircut. There are dark circles under my eyes. My face actually looks longer and skinnier. My biceps are bulging out through my shirt. I’ve been working out harder. For longer. Anything to just pass out in bed at night.
Jay and I have been passing a tennis ball between us for the past thirty-five minutes. This guy is really making me work for it, but it looks like I’m going to win.
“Holy shit! It’s like you’re trying to prove something,” he declares when we’re done. We both sit down on the bench on the side of the tennis court, trying to cool off.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Is this about the chick? Ella?”
“It’s about my mother.”
“Your mother?” Jay is surprised and rightly so. I’ve never spoken about my parents with him, except to say they’re both dead.
“She’s alive.”
“You’re fucking with me.”
“Ella found her. Well, kind of. It’s a long story. The point is, she came to see me. She was drunk the night of the accident. She lost control of the car and killed my father.”
“Is that why she gave you up?”
“Yeah, why she abandoned me. That’s what she claims. Because she didn’t think she was a fit parent. Most mothers would fight to their death to keep their kids with them. Mine gave me up herself.”
Jay is staring at me, and he finally takes in a deep breath.
“That is messed up.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“But at least you know now.”
“I didn’t want to know. I definitely didn’t need to know. I was better off thinking they were both dead.”
“But now you have the opportunity of a lifetime.”
I don’t let him continue. I know what he’s going to say.
“Yeah, right, to build a relationship with a woman who abandoned me. Who regrets her actions now and wants to be forgiven. Fat chance of that happening. You reap what you sow.”
I stand up, dabbing the sweat towel on the back of my neck.
“What does Ella say?” Jay asks, looking up at me.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to see her again. She’s caused enough disruption to my life already.”
“You are crazy about this girl.”
“That is relative. Yeah, I’ve never felt this way about a girl before, but it doesn’t mean I’ll never feel it again or more.”
“Are you serious, Reed? You think this kinda thing happens to people over and over again?”
“I’m willing to take my chances.”
“Then you’re an idiot,” he says, standing up.
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
“From the sounds of it, all she has ever done is tried to help you. You reeled her in. Made her a part of your life, took her to that town of yours, and now you’re pushing her away.”
“She should have stayed away from my mother.”
“This is a free country. She did what she thought was the right thing to do. Do you still want her?”
I glare at him because this question pisses me off. I can’t shake my head, though; I can’t say no.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Jay says and walks away towards the changing rooms.
24
Ella
Kirk and I have spent two days out together so far, and I still feel no spark. He is perfectly handsome, very charming, polite, and funny. In fact, I expected him to run a mile in the opposite direction when he found out about the pregnancy, but I’m surprised