cuts me off.
“I have spent all my life not knowing I have a whole family out there waiting for me to get in touch. Call me crazy, Ella, but I don’t know who to trust. Right now, the only person I trust is you. I don’t want them to know anything about me. Not until I’ve found out everything I need to know about them. The one thing I hold in very high regard is privacy, and to me, they are nothing but strangers.”
My throat has gone dry. His calmness and the coldness with which he speaks has sent chills down my spine. I can see he is angry. With the world? With his mother?
I don’t want to ask too many questions and trigger him.
“What time are we leaving tomorrow?” I ask, and he blinks to look back at me.
“Nine in the morning. I’ll pick you up. I’ll find a different car to drive, of course. Tomorrow, you’re going to be Mrs. Silvers.”
My hand is shaking as I push open the car door. He has completely forgotten about what we were going to discuss. He doesn’t remember that he told me he wanted me. That he was thinking about us.
I knew the truth was going to change things, but I was hoping it wouldn’t change things between us. Now I know nothing will ever be the same again. Reed is going through a personal journey like I was six months ago, and the best thing I can do for him now is to leave him alone.
I haven’t slept all night. I was up tossing and turning in bed, worrying about all the things that could go wrong. What if Matthew doesn’t believe our married claim? What if he gets angry thinking I lied to him about working for Reed? What would being fake married to Reed entail? Sharing the same hotel room? Sharing a bed?
It seems like sex is the last thing on his mind right now, but it’s very much consuming mine. The more time I spend with Reed, the more convinced I am that he is the one. He is the man I want to give my virginity to. He is the one I want to always remember.
The fact that I may have started developing feelings for him is on the backburner for now. I don’t want to think about that.
I pack a small bag and leave a quick voicemail on Gigi’s phone so she doesn’t worry about where I’ve suddenly disappeared to. As promised, I see Reed drive into the parking spot in the morning across from my bedroom window.
He’s ditched the Cadillac for a grey Honda Civic. Nothing extravagant. Tom has to have been involved in this scheme, or else how did he manage this car overnight? I can see him in the driver’s seat, wearing dark sunglasses and looking down at his phone. I hear the ding of the text on mine, which he’s sent.
Even as I put on my shoes and run my fingers through my unruly curls one last time, I feel like this is going to be a mistake. I am not prepared to spend this much time with him. I am not in control of my own feelings. And yet, a thrill of excitement zips through the pit of my stomach. I hurry down the stairs to meet him.
Reed steps out to hold the passenger door open for me. He’s still wearing his sunglasses so I can’t see his eyes. Neither is he smiling.
“Hi!” I exclaim as chirpily as possible as I settle into the car. He’s in a plain black polo shirt and dark jeans. When he sits next to me, I can smell his cologne again. His biceps clench when he grabs the steering wheel and starts the car.
I’m noticing his muscles. I know what he looks like underneath that shirt. I have to look away. My throat is dry.
“Do you have the address?” he asks as we join traffic.
“Yep, right here.” I look through my purse and pull out a piece of paper to hand to him. Our fingers brush, and I can feel my nape burning. He’s barely even looking at me today. I know he has a lot on his mind. This is a huge day for him, but I can’t help but feel weak in the knees. I have to do everything I can to not turn to him and blurt everything.
Tell him exactly what I want him to do to me.
11
Reed
I’m trying to focus