it was an invasion of her privacy, but I needed something to make me feel close to her. I’ve read every one. Over and over again. As much as it hurts to read her intimate thoughts, I cherish every word on these pages.
I stop, my throat too tight to continue.
“Lincoln,” I croak. “It almost sounds like—”
He cuts me off by tightening his arms around me. “Keep reading, baby. We won’t know anything if you don’t read it.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat and lick my lips.
“When I first started reading them, I knew they meant a lot to her because I always saw her writing in them, but I didn’t realize how much until I did read them. I also realized that if someone else read these, they may wonder why they abruptly stopped.
Anna was such a beautiful person, and everyone who met her loved her. Me included. Especially me. Anna’s last entry was right before we left for our wedding anniversary. That was a little over a year ago. After the many times she said she wanted to visit New York City, I surprised her with a visit. The smile on her face when she realized where we were going will stay with me for the rest of my life. We stayed in a beautiful bed and breakfast and we explored the city. Anna was ecstatic and gushing over each new thing she saw. I watched her more than I did the sights. She was so beautiful.
The night before we were to leave and go home will forever be the worst night of my life. It was the night my beloved Anna was taken from me. I awoke in the middle of the night to the smell of smoke. There were a few other people in the house besides the owners, but my first and most important concern was getting Anna out of harm’s way. I woke her up and we both left the room. There was smoke everywhere, and it looked like the fire was in the master bedroom. When we got to the top of the stairs, there was a cry for help. It was a child’s cry. Even though my only thought was to get Anna out of the house, she begged me to help the child. She was supposed to go straight downstairs and out the door. That was the only way I would leave her to help the child. She swore to me that’s what she would do.
I managed to find the child. After we made it outside, Anna was nowhere to be found. I knew in that moment, she was still inside. The fire department had just arrived moments before. Frantic to get to Anna, I rushed back toward the house, but before I could make it, someone grabbed me from behind, preventing me from going inside. I kicked and screamed and fought as hard as I could, but they wouldn’t let me go. It was only seconds later that the back half of the house collapsed. My heart was cracking wide open every second that Anna didn’t appear. My heart bled out that night on the dewy grass at my feet. It was after everything was over, the flames were finally out, and the house was safe enough for the fire inspector to go inside that he found her body. She was lying on top of a small child under what was previously the kitchen table. The flames had demolished both her and the child.”
I stop reading because I’m crying so hard I can’t form the words anymore. I drop the book to my lap and roll over until I’m facing Lincoln. “I can’t,” I sob, shaking my head, tears flying from my cheeks.
“Shh—baby. I’ve got you.”
I’m immediately wrapped in Lincoln’s arms, my face buried in his chest. My chest aches from my hiccoughing sobs, but there’s no chance of me stopping them.
“I’m so sorry, Molly,” Lincoln says hoarsely in my ear. “So damn sorry.”
I bury my face deeper in his chest, soaking him with my tears.
I’m not sure who I feel more sorry for. Anna or Jack. The horrific pain and fear Anna must have endured lying under that table, trying her best to protect that child. And the devastating pain Jack went through knowing his wife was still inside, while he was outside helpless to do anything.
I sniff and wipe my nose with the sheet before lifting my bleary eyes to Lincoln.
“I need to hear the rest, but