palm to my lips.
“You know it’s going to be okay, right?” I ask. “We’re going to get through whatever this is. Just like we do everything else.”
“I know.”
She looks at me, and although she offers a smile, I can still see the worry in her eyes. As much as I try to hide it, I know mine reflect the same. I’m scared shitless of what she’s about to possibly face. I only hope and pray with everything in me that it’s something we can handle.
“I’m going to start taking my birth control pills again,” she remarks, sadness dripping in her tone.
Her words gut me. I know how excited she was about having another baby. I was looking forward to it too. But Dr. Becker advised us against it. Molly and I both agreed it was for the best. We need to find out what’s going on first. There’s no telling if it will affect a baby or make whatever we’re dealing with worse for Molly.
“Hey,” I tell her and wait for her to look at me. “This doesn’t mean we can’t try after we get you better. We’re just pushing the timeframe back a bit.”
“Yeah.”
I hate the despondent cantor of her voice. I wish I could take away her worry and put it solely on my shoulders. To force whatever’s ravaging her body into mine.
This woman and our two children are my entire world. My only purpose in life is to make sure they’re happy and safe. For me to not be able to make her better eats a hole through my heart and leaves me feeling helpless.
We spend the rest of the trip in silence. As soon as we pull into Douglas and Nancy’s driveway, the front door is thrown open, and Gemma and Gray walk onto the porch. Gemma waits for us to shut the car off before she’s dashing down the steps, skidding to a stop in front of her mother.
“Guess what, Momma?” she asks, out of breath. She doesn’t wait for Molly to answer before hurriedly continuing. “Gamma said when they get back from their cruise, they’re going to get a new puppy so Thor has another dog to play with. She said I could come over and help take care of it.”
Molly smiles down at our daughter, the stress from moments ago fading from her face. If there’s one thing that could lighten her mood, it’s our children.
We both felt it best to not inform the kids of the possibility of Molly being sick. We didn’t want to alarm them. Once we figure out what it is, then we’ll sit them down and explain everything. Until then, we want to keep them away from anything that could upset them.
“That’s great, honey,” Molly responds, stroking back some of Gemma’s hair from her face. “I know you’ll be a good caregiver for the little pup.”
Gemma beams proudly. “She said Gray and I could help her pick one out. We’re going to go to the shelter to get one.”
Gray mosies down the steps at a slower pace just as Nancy steps outside, throwing a dish towel over her shoulder.
“Hey, bud,” I say to Gray as he meets Molly and me at the front of the car.
“Hey, Dad.” He looks like a mini version of me as he stuffs his hands into his jeans pockets. “Can we stop by Game Stop on the way home? I wanna see if they have the new Overwatch.”
“Sure, kid.”
Nancy watches our approach from the porch. She’s trying to hide it from the kids, but Molly and I notice the worry lines on her face. She’s just as anxious as we are to find out what’s going on with Molly. Unfortunately, we don’t have much to give her.
As we walk up the steps to go inside, I take Dr. Becker’s warning seriously and stick close to Molly. Apparently, so does she, because she moves slower than normal and grips the handrail. I tell Gemma and Gray to watch some TV or play the Xbox while the adults talk for a few minutes. We find Douglas out back, laying a brick border around the patio.
“What did Dr. Becker say?” Nancy asks after we’ve taken a seat at the patio table, getting right to the point.
“They found some white matter in my MRI, which is leading him to believe it could be an autoimmune disease.”
“So, they don’t know for sure?”
“Not yet. He’s ordering more tests.”
“More tests? Goodness gracious,” Nancy grumbles with irritation. I can’t say I