her. Molly could be in a coma for months. I can’t be away from the kids that long.
As much as it hurts, I know what I have to do.
I tuck a piece of hair behind Gemma’s ear, which is not in pigtails for the first time in a long time.
“How about this? You, me, and Gray spend a few hours together today. Then the three of us go visit Momma for a little while before we go home for the night?”
“Can me and Gray sleep with you?”
“If that’s what you both want.”
“Okay,” she says.
I pull her closer for a tight hug and promise against her ear. “From now on, I promise I’ll be around more.”
She nods against my neck. “Okay.” She pulls back and gives me her beautiful green eyes, her mother’s eyes. “But can I go with you sometimes to see Momma?”
“You sure can. I know Momma would really like that.”
Setting Gemma down, we walk up the steps. I reach for the screen door, but it’s pushed open before I can. Gray’s standing there, his expression the same somberness as Gemma’s.
I smooth my hand over his head. “Hey, Son.”
“Hey, Dad.” His Adam’s apple, which he just started developing a couple of years ago, bobs. “Are there any changes with… Mom?”
I shake my head, moving my hand to his shoulder to give it a squeeze. “I’m so sorry, Gray.”
He nods, dropping his head to look down at his feet.
If there were any possible way to take this pain away from my kids, I would in a heartbeat.
The kids and I find Nancy and Douglas in the kitchen. Nancy is setting down a plate filled with chicken wraps when she spots us entering the room.
“You’re just in time. We were getting ready to sit down for lunch.”
I don’t have an appetite, but I know I need to eat.
“Thanks, Nancy,” I mutter, pulling out the chair across from Douglas.
She pats my shoulder as she passes by me. “It’s good to have you here.”
I nod my acknowledgment. I still hate being away from Molly. Even now, I feel like I’m going to break out in hives, but I push the uncomfortable feeling away.
Gray and Gemma take their seats. It’s strange how quiet everyone is. Usually, when we visit Nancy and Douglas, there’s boisterous laughter, and there’s always someone talking at the table. But then again, Molly is normally with us. It doesn’t feel right to not have her here now. Unfortunately, this will become our new normal.
After the kids grab a chicken wrap, I put one on my plate. I typically enjoy Nancy’s wraps, but today they taste like sawdust. Even so, I force down several bites.
“So, what’s on the agenda for the day?” Nancy asks after several silent moments.
I pick up the glass of water in front of me to wash down the food in my mouth. “I was going to take the kids out for a bit. Maybe to Ponduke Lake. Let them feed the ducks. We’ll stop by the hospital on our way back. Lindsay said she’ll stay with Molly tonight, so the kids and I can go home.”
Nancy smiles, and just like everyone’s smile lately, it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. Douglas and I were going to go visit this evening. I think I overheard Jenna say she was going to spend tomorrow night at the hospital.”
“Not tomorrow,” I tell her. “Wednesday night. I’ll be there tomorrow night. We plan to alternate nights.”
Nancy nods, setting her wrap down on her plate and wiping her hands. “Count me and Douglas in some nights.”
“I’ll let them know.”
Nancy may have been right about me not spending so much time away from the kids, but I’m not giving up all of my nights with Molly. It’s already tough enough giving up any. I have to be there some nights.
Everyone turns quiet again. I shift in my seat, feeling restless and uneasy. It’s not Nancy or Douglas, they’re like a second family to me. It’s that I’m away from the hospital.
I bring my phone to life on the table, checking to make sure I haven’t missed any calls or have any voicemails, even though the volume is up and I’ve had my phone with me the entire time I’ve been gone. Plus, Lindsay knows to call me if something should happen.
Despite the fact that I have no missed calls, texts, or voicemails, I still can’t get the uneasy feeling to go away. I should be at the hospital.