didn’t mean I was allowed to just take love wherever it came from. I needed to make up my mind. But it was so hard when Miller was staring at me like that. It was him. He was the right choice. He was always there for me. He’d always stand up for me. He’d be my rock. Why was life so cruel?
“What’s wrong?” He reached out and took my hand.
I squeezed it tight, because I didn’t want to let go. I hated myself for being so indecisive. But this decision was out of my hands. “Mr. Pruitt knows I’m seeing a member of the staff.”
He shook his head. “That’s not possible.”
“Trust me, he does. He just told me. He’s been watching me, I think. He knows I sneak out of my room each night and come back around 6 in the morning.”
Miller shook his head. “I’m the only one who has access to those cameras.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. He must have access to them too. He said he didn’t know who I was visiting downstairs though. He doesn’t know it was you. And I don’t think he suspects you.”
Miller exhaled slowly.
“But he said I had to stop. Or he’d take the time to figure out who it was.”
“So we’ll need to be more careful.”
“Do you have any idea how scared I was that you’d lose your job today for sneaking Kennedy into the apartment? I can’t ask you to do me any more favors. I have nothing to give you in return.”
“I’m not asking for anything in return. I just like spending time with you.”
I pulled my hand out of his grip. “We have to stop.”
He lowered his eyebrows. “Is this about Matt? Or what’s his name…Mason?”
“No. And absolutely not.” I didn’t even know if I was going to forgive Matt. But regardless, I needed to do this. I owed Miller so much. I clasped my hands together so I wouldn’t reach out for him again. “I appreciate you being there for me. I don’t know how I would have survived the past week without you. But I won’t keep putting your job in jeopardy.” I could feel my tears threatening to spill. This hurt. I wanted to choose him. My heart was screaming at me to.
“I don’t care about my job.”
“Of course you care. You said you needed the money for college.”
“You think I would seriously leave you alone in that house with them and go off to college? I already mentally pushed it back two years.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Miller, you can’t do that.”
“And you can’t tell me what to do, kid.”
Kid. He used that nickname when he was annoyed with me. And every time I heard it was like a punch in the gut, reminding me of my uncle calling me kiddo. What was I doing? Why was I trying to push him away when he made me happy? Why did I have to choose right this second? Why couldn’t I just catch a break? “I really like you.” It was the opposite of what I was supposed to be saying. But it was the first thing I said to him tonight that felt right.
“I really like you too.”
I pressed my lips together. “I’m still confused.”
“I’ve got time.” He smiled out of the corner of his mouth. “And I never asked you to make a decision tonight.”
“I know, I just…” I ran my hands down my dress. Felix’s harsh words were in the back of my head. “I don’t want to lead you on.”
“You haven’t. I knew full well what I was getting myself into when I let you climb into my bed.”
I laughed. “You make it sound so much more salacious than it is.” Just saying the words out loud reminded me that there was more to the reason why we couldn’t be together. “But it’s not just Mr. Pruitt knowing,” I said. “I signed a contract that said I was with Matt. A relationship agreement or something like that. And I didn’t read through it. I don’t even know what will happen if I break it.”
“Why would you sign something you didn’t read?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know, Matt signed it without looking at it and I just…”
“You read all the house rules and signed that contract. That was like a freaking book. It took you days but you took the time to go over all those details. You could have taken a few minutes to read the relationship one