acquaintance list. Or whatever the hell it’s called.”
“Actually he is,” Miller said. “All the Caldwells are.”
“Of course. The one person I don’t want on it already is.”
“Pizza delivery,” some stranger said as he entered the family room. “Whoa, what happened here?”
Miller cursed under his breath and grabbed the pizza delivery guy by the arm, hauling him back toward the hallway.
Felix, Matt, and I were left standing there in an increasingly awkward silence.
I wanted to make a joke about how good the pizza smelled, but it didn’t seem like it would be well received.
“So he’s the one you kissed?” Felix asked. “When you promised I could be your first?”
I wasn’t sure if his words were just harsh against the silence, or harsh because he was angry.
I swallowed hard. “Matt stole my first kiss. I didn’t give it to him.”
Felix shook his head. “Were you seeing him that whole time? Or just after you told me you wanted to be friends until you were ready for more?”
“Felix…”
“I’m just your backup plan.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I feel like a fucking idiot.”
“Felix, that’s not…”
“Then how else would you put it?”
“That I really like you. And I’m confused.”
“A few minutes ago you looked me right in the eyes and told me that you loved me. So that I’d keep crawling back to you like an idiot. You’re not confused, newb. You played me.”
“Felix, please…” I reached out to him, but he sidestepped my hands and walked away without another word.
I looked at the broken table and the drops of blood on the plush carpet. What the hell had I just done? I didn’t realize there were tears streaming down my face until I tasted the salt on my lips.
“Brooklyn.” Matt’s voice was gentler than it should have been. Wasn’t he going to tell me I was a terrible person and run off too? But he didn’t run. He just stared at me with so much concern on his stupid perfect features.
“Matt.” My Matt. The one that held me while I cried every night after my uncle died. The one who took me to his favorite spot in NYC so I wouldn’t feel like I didn’t have a family. The one that got down on one knee to ask me to be his girlfriend, just to make me smile. I took a deep breath. The one who did nothing when Isabella poured milk on me. The one who let his best friend believe he was keeping me a secret because I was poor. The one that made me lie and sneak around and hurt the people that I loved. “I don’t have anything left to say to you.”
“Well, tough luck. Because I have a lot to say to you.”
God, he was exasperating. “Matt, I told you that I couldn’t date you because my heart couldn’t take it. I told you that. And you kept pushing it anyway. So I gave it to you and…” I couldn’t keep going. “I trusted you. And I feel…nothing. I’m not even sad anymore. I can’t feel anything. I’m numb.”
“That’s the drugs,” he said.
“No, it’s you.”
“Brooklyn…”
“You just sat there and watched at lunch. All those terrible things Isabella said to me and you did nothing. Your friends actually stood up for me. But you…you were silent. I get that you didn’t want Isabella to know we were dating. But even strangers can be kind. And I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t.”
I walked away from him without looking back. But I was very aware of his footsteps following me.
Chapter 15
Saturday
I ran to the elevator and pressed the button to close the doors. But they stayed open for an agonizingly long time. Come on. I slammed my fist against the button again. I just needed a few minutes alone to clear my head. Come on. I pushed on the button again. Just as the doors started to close, Matt slid into the elevator.
Damn it.
I didn’t say a word as Matt hit the button for the Pruitts’ floor. I tried to focus on the elevator music, but it was hard to pretend Matt wasn’t there. We were alone. When we were alone, we were always kissing or holding hands or I’d be wrapped in his arms. But he didn’t touch me now. And I could feel the distance between us.
“Did you kiss him?” Matt asked.
The elevator music wasn’t loud enough to drown him out. “No.” I shook my head. “I mean, not today. Not recently.”
“Not recently?”
“Not since