you left me your varsity jacket.” Even though Matt and I hadn’t made our relationship official that night, that’s when I was all in. That’s why everything he did hurt so freaking much.
“Do you still have feelings for him?”
Why weren’t these doors opening? “Yes.”
His inhale was sharp, like I’d just slapped him. “Why?”
I didn’t want to talk about Felix with him. I didn’t want to talk to him at all. “For starters, he’s not embarrassed to talk to me in public. And he’s always been my friend.”
“Brooklyn…”
“But you have nothing to worry about because he clearly hates me now.” I wasn’t even sure who I was more upset with. Matt or myself. This was the longest elevator ride of my life. Matt would never understand. He had tons of friends. He had a family. Everyone loved him. All I had were Kennedy and Felix. That was it. And now I only had Kennedy.
“That wasn’t my intention.”
“No?” I finally made eye contact with him. “It wasn’t your intention to make him hate me when you were punching him in the face?”
“I hit him because he touched you.”
The elevator doors finally opened with a happy little bell jingle that made me want to scream. “He’s allowed to touch me. You and I broke up!” How many times did I have to tell him this? He was acting like he wasn’t there when I told him it was over. I shoved my way past him.
I saw Miller standing in front of the Pruitts’ door. How did he beat us here? God, I didn’t want to go back inside that haunted prison. I also didn’t want to stand here and listen to Matt. My brain was screaming at me to make a run for it. That was my plan all along…to flee. But I’d messed it all up. No, Matt had. He’d ruined everything. I swallowed down the lump in my throat. He’d ruined me.
Kennedy had told me I needed to be brave. But I wasn’t brave. I took a step back and collided with Matt. His arms encircled me and I immediately felt more comforted. But thinking about how he had that effect on me just made me feel claustrophobic. I didn’t need him. I didn’t need anyone. I slipped out of his embrace and for a second I just stood there. I couldn’t run for my freedom. No matter which way I turned there was someone there to stop me. And right now, anything seemed better than standing next to Matt.
“Please just go home,” I said to him.
“Not until you talk to me.”
God, why couldn’t he just respect my decision? Couldn’t he tell that I could barely think right now? Let alone talk to him. I took a deep breath. It didn’t matter, he wouldn’t have a choice once I told Miller to not let him in. I made my way over to Miller and he opened the door to let me in. I’d feel better once I was in my room. The rest of the apartment was too creepy to comfort me. “Take him off my list,” I said to Miller. I didn’t wait for a response. I hurried through the foyer and up the stairs. But still I heard the footsteps behind me. I wished it was a ghost. I’d take the place being haunted over having Matt alone with me in my room. Or Miller, if he was the one following me. I didn’t want to speak to either of them. I didn’t want to see anyone.
I tried to close the door to my bedroom, but two strong hands stopped it.
“Brooklyn, I just need five minutes.”
Matt. “You’ve had plenty of my minutes. I don’t have any more time to waste on you.” I tried to close the door but he was too strong.
“I’ve never wasted a second with you,” he said.
That was certainly poetic, but it was even more false. He didn’t get it. He’d never understand. “Time is limited, Matt! And every time you don’t have my back, that’s time I can never get back.” I’m running out of time. I pictured my mom unconscious on the kitchen floor. I pictured my uncle coughing at the kitchen table. I’d never have enough time.
He pushed the door open hard, knocking me backward. I fell back and landed on my butt.
“Shit,” he said as he reached down to help me up.
I didn’t need his help. I didn’t need anything from him. I pushed his hands away from me.
“Just let me