intimidating now. I couldn’t imagine him small. But I’m sure his hair was just as golden back then. And his smile was probably equally contagious. He was smiling now, reminiscing about moments with his aunt from when he was younger. They used to paint together. I had the same reaction to the idea of his hands being little and holding a delicate brush. They seemed much too big to hold a paintbrush. But they were probably a lot smaller back then.
“Do you miss that?” I asked.
“Spending time with her or painting?”
I stared into his eyes. “Both.”
He nodded. “Both,” he agreed.
“You could still paint, you know. Maybe it’ll make you feel closer to her?” Like how I felt close to my mom when I looked at the stars on the fire escape. Or saw the color yellow. Or wore the sneakers she gave me. I swallowed down the lump in my throat.
He reached out and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “I don’t have that much free time.”
Because of football practice? Because of me? Because of worrying about James? He didn’t offer an explanation. And I didn’t know if I should push anymore. He’d already told me his fears. He’d told me a secret he was keeping. He was finally letting me in. “She sounded like a wonderful person.”
“I didn’t even know she was depressed. How self-consumed was I that I never noticed?”
“It’s not your fault, Matt.”
“I should have seen it.”
“You’re just a teenager. It wasn’t your job to see it. Or fix it.” I saw the irony in my words. Because James was a teenager. And if his closest friends didn’t see his behavior as worrisome, who else was going to take the time to? The way Rob had described their parents was chilling. All James had were his friends. And his girlfriend, but his parents were pressuring him to break up with her. I didn’t know what to say.
We were stretched out on my bed. Close, but not touching except for our intertwined fingers. I wanted to pull him in closer, but I wasn’t sure if he was still mad at me. The empty Pringles can Matt had pilfered from downstairs was lying between us, like an impenetrable wall. And thinking about Pringles made me hungry all over again. I was never going to eat pot sugarcakes again. Focus. “What are we going to do about James?”
“You’re going to forget I said anything. And let me handle it.”
“But…there has to be something I can do to help. Or maybe if we can figure out a way to get Isabella to stop blackmailing you? What happened to the private investigator you hired?”
“He didn’t find anything. I’m pretty sure she got to him and paid him off.”
“She paid off a PI that was hired to find dirt on her?” What kind of tangled mess was Matt caught in?
The door to my bedroom flew open and Matt and I both sat up.
Mr. Pruitt was standing there with a frown on his face. He cleared his throat.
Matt practically fell out of the bed as he moved away from me. His hair was sticking up funny in the back and I’m sure I looked equally unpresentable.
“Matthew, could you please give me a moment alone with my daughter?” Mr. Pruitt’s voice was even icier than usual.
Matt smoothed his shirt as he stood up, just making the scene look even worse. We’d barely touched, let alone whatever it looked like now. “We were only talking,” Matt said.
“Mhm. Downstairs. Now.”
Matt turned around, giving me a reassuring smile. “I swear we didn’t do anything. But I’ll wait downstairs so she can tell you herself.” He walked past Mr. Pruitt.
I busied myself sweeping some of the crumbs from my bedspread back into the Pringles can and looking anywhere but at him.
“There are rules in this house,” Mr. Pruitt said as he made his way over to me. Before I could climb off the bed, he sat down on it next to me. “Each designed to make sure you’re behaving like the lady you now need to be.”
The lady that I wasn’t? I think normally I’d be offended by the comment. But instead I wanted to laugh. I bit down on the inside of my lip to prevent myself from even smiling. I was definitely still high. And I had a feeling that was probably against one of Mr. Pruitt’s rules.
“We follow a very strict no-processed foods diet, for starters.” He lifted the Pringles can out of my