were spending some of that time with Matt. When I never made it clear that I still want us to be official.” He cleared his throat. “So, newb. That’s what I want. When you’re ready. I want you to be my girlfriend.”
“But I just told you about Miller. And James. And you know about freaking Matt.”
“Well, I’d want you to stop sleeping in Miller’s bed every night. And definitely stop kissing James Hunter. Nothing good could ever come from that. And as for Matt? Do you really want to be with someone who kept you a secret so that he wouldn’t have to confess to sleeping with his best friend’s girl?”
No. No, I didn’t.
“I’m asking you to choose me. Like I chose you over my company. Brooklyn, I gave up everything for you.”
My stomach twisted into knots. But not just because of the fact that his words were true. He had given up his drug business for me. He’d stopped selling, just like I’d begged him to do. But it had just made everything worse. “Well I didn’t know that giving up your business would leave room for Cupcake to start one of his own.”
“Well…I mean…we’re partners. Fifty-fifty. But I’m not selling anymore, so you don’t have to worry about anything. Cupcake handles the distribution now.”
“By putting it into cupcakes.”
“Right. Pretty clever, huh?”
I took a step back from him. “No, not clever. Felix, he gave those cupcakes to all of us without even telling us what was in them.”
“He was testing the recipe…”
“He’d already tested it on Kennedy!”
“What?”
“You know that rumor going around? Kennedy’s not a slut.”
“I didn’t say that she was…”
“Cupcake drugged her. And took advantage of her. And you let it happen.”
“Whoa.” Felix put up his hands. “Yes, I told him to put the pot in cupcakes. But we were supposed to work on the recipe together. I had no idea he’d already done it. I found out about it the same time you did. And I definitely didn’t tell him to hide the fact that there was pot in the cupcakes. The whole point is that people do know. That’s how we make money.”
I didn’t care about how he made money. I cared about my friend. “He raped her, Felix.”
His Adam’s apple rose and fell.
“I wanted you to stop selling altogether,” I said. “Not pass the business off to a monster.”
“And you asked me to give up my business when you won’t even commit to being my girlfriend. You don’t know how much you keep asking for. And I’m trying my best to give you everything you want. I’m sorry about Cupcake. I’ll talk to him. I’ll fix it.”
“You can’t fix it. You can’t undo what he did to her.”
He pushed his hair off his forehead. “I’m sorry. I know you hate those words, but what else can I say right now? I’m really fucking sorry that happened. I’ll talk to Cupcake. And I’ll talk to Kennedy. I’ll try to stop the rumors.”
“Don’t talk to Kennedy.” I put my face in my hands for a second. She didn’t want me to tell anyone about this. God, I was supposed to be pushing them together, not telling Felix not to speak to her. I pulled my face out of my hands. “I promised not to tell anyone.”
“Okay. I won’t talk to her.”
Operation Felix was a complete bust. All I’d accomplished was remembering how easy it was to get lost in his eyes. And forbidding him to speak to Kennedy. This was a total mess. And suddenly everything just felt so heavy. I was used to carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. When I’d been worried about my mom every day. And now I’d messed up this fresh start in New York. Everything just felt even heavier. It was like I was stuck in quicksand and I couldn’t get out.
“Hey, come here.” He pulled me into his arms. “I won’t let him do anything like that ever again. I promise.”
Since Kennedy wouldn’t tell anyone else about it, his words did make me feel better. He’d make sure it didn’t happen to someone else. That was the best that could be done. “Thank you.” I rested the side of my head on his chest.
The music had changed to an upbeat song, but neither one of us seemed to care.
“You can’t deny that this feels right,” he said.
No, I really couldn’t. I held on to him a little tighter. Him cutting me out of his life had felt