wasn’t sure if I’d have access to a phone. But if I was able to leave, I’d go to Felix. I didn’t care whether we were dating or not. I just cared that he cared. And I needed him right now. I needed him so badly.
He wasn’t my best friend. Or my boyfriend. He was somewhere stuck in between, and maybe that was why it was so easy to share my darkest fears with him. “I lost my mom. And my uncle. I don’t have anyone anymore. I’m alone. I’m all alone.”
He pulled me back into his arms and rested his chin on the top of my head. “You have me.”
I felt my body start to shake with my tears. Felix’s words just made me miss my uncle more. You have me. It’s exactly what my uncle had told me when I’d needed him.
“Is that really so bad?” he asked.
I laughed through my tears.
“And you have Kennedy. If there’s one thing I know about Kennedy, it’s how fiercely she loves. You have her.”
“I wasn’t crying because you’re one of the only people I can rely on. I’m crying because you offering to be that person is really overwhelmingly sweet. And I don’t deserve it. All I do is cry recently.”
“Well maybe if you didn’t skip gym class I could get you to smile again. Me making you laugh is kinda our thing.”
“I’m sorry. I was hiding out in the nurse’s office. I wasn’t ready to come back here. Everything reminds me of him.”
He held me as my tears started to subside. “I know.” He ran his hand up and down my back again until I was finally breathing normally.
“Thank you,” I mumbled into his chest. “For coming after me.”
“I had to race Kennedy, but because of you I’m pretty fast now.”
I laughed and looked up at him. “I guess you’re welcome?”
He smiled down at me. “It also helped that you ran into the boy’s restroom.”
“I what?” I pulled out of his arms and spotted the urinals for the first time. “Oh my God, what is wrong with me?”
“Not a single thing.”
The way he said it made my cheeks flush.
The bell rang and Felix shrugged out of his blazer. “Here.” He held it out to me. “I know you don’t want to be any later for class.”
“I can’t take your blazer. And you’re late too,” I said with a laugh. I wiped away the rest of my tears.
“I’m always late for class.” He shrugged. “Take it.”
“You’ll get in trouble.”
“And I’m always in trouble.” He pushed his blazer into my hands. “Call me tonight and I’ll come get you from wherever you are, okay?”
“Okay.” Matt had promised me I wouldn’t have to spend the night at the Pruitts’. But I knew Matt’s promises weren’t guaranteed. He promised me all sorts of things in the darkness of night. But in the light of day? I wasn’t sure he meant a word of it.
I pulled on Felix’s blazer. It was way too big, but at least it didn’t smell like spoiled milk.
“That looks better on you than it does on me.”
I smiled at him.
“I’ll see you tonight.” He winked at me and disappeared out the restroom door.
If only I was as confident that I’d see him. There was a pretty slim chance I’d be allowed to leave or call him. But I hoped I’d be able to.
I grabbed Isabella’s blazer off the bathroom floor. All I wanted to do was throw it in the trash. But I knew how expensive these things were. There was a reason I only had one. Despite the fact that I was already late for class, I scrubbed the milk stain out of the front, hung it up in my locker to dry, and then just stood there in the empty hallway. If I closed my eyes really tight, I could almost picture my uncle standing there too.
***
I was glad it was finally time for my last class of the day. But I was also terrified about what would happen after school. I pictured the Pruitts living in a big haunting mansion like Matt’s. Matt. I wasn’t thrilled to see him either.
He’d been so sweet this morning. But he was able to turn off his affection for me so easily. Like it was just a switch. It wasn’t an easy switch to me. And he wasn’t just ignoring me in front of Isabella. Matt sitting there and letting her pour milk all over me and call me a garbage