it was pretty clear now.
I felt Miller’s eyes on the back of my neck, pricking my skin. The question was…did I want Matt back? The smile on my face screamed yes. My heart that was still in pieces? That was a different story.
“That was seriously the most amazing thing ever,” Kennedy said. She snapped a picture of me and pulled the camera away from her face. “I haven’t seen you this happy in forever. This is going to be the best homecoming ever. Do you think he has anything else planned for the dance? Can you even imagine how he’d top that?”
I nodded, but I wasn’t really listening. I was doing my best not to look over to see if Mrs. Caldwell was staring at me. Or the Pruitts for that matter.
I watched as things calmed down on the field and the homecoming king and queen were crowned. James Hunter and Isabella Pruitt. Figures. I stared at the two of them. James looked so drunk I doubted he’d remember a minute of this. Did no one else notice? And then there was Isabella, who looked…furious. We locked eyes for a second and I felt myself sinking. She was definitely upset. And it was directed fully on me. Why was she mad at me?
Her anger slowly shifted to a smile as pictures started to snap. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and jutted out her hip like she hadn’t just given me a death stare. She even leaned over and kissed James on the cheek, much to his dismay. He looked like he was going to be sick. I would have maxed out my untouched credit card to see him throw up on her cheerleading outfit. But he didn’t. He just looked so freaking sad. Like his heart had been stomped on too.
I didn’t want their life. I wanted a little house in Delaware with a yellow kitchen. I didn’t want to be Untouchable. I just wanted to be loved. And Matt had just sung about loving me. I pictured him and his friends thrusting again and I laughed out loud. What the hell had he been thinking?
Chapter 23
Saturday
We were stuck in traffic in the small parking lot at Empire High for what seemed like centuries. And sitting in the car with Miller after Matt’s performance wasn’t exactly fun. I breathed a sigh of relief when Miller was finally able to pull the car out of the parking lot.
Kennedy was busy going through pictures on her camera. I turned to look out the window and could still see the team celebrating in the distance. They’d sat Matt for the third quarter, but let him play again in the fourth. Empire High had lost the lead while he was benched. I was pretty sure that was the only reason they let Matt back on the field. But we’d ended up winning by a landslide.
The game was a great distraction. It was easy to get caught up in the cheers, which were surprisingly easy to learn. And Kennedy filled me in about some things I didn’t know about the game, like being offsides. Starting too soon…maybe that’s what I’d done with Matt. I started something with him too soon after I lost my mom. I needed more time to heal. That’s why my heart was so confused. Because it was still broken.
“Check this one out,” Kennedy said and showed me the display on her camera. It was an image of Matt thrusting.
I couldn’t help but laugh. It was ridiculous. The smile on Matt’s face was contagious and my cheeks hurt from all the pictures she kept showing me. But I could feel Miller’s eyes on me in the rearview mirror. And the awkward tension in the air seemed to grow with each laugh.
Miller had been so professional since walking us down the stands. Not one personal comment even though the three of us had talked the whole car ride to the game. I knew Kennedy felt the awkwardness too. But she was trying to drown it out with funny pictures. It was homecoming. We were supposed to be laughing and having fun. The twisted feeling in my stomach seemed like all I ever felt anymore. And I was so tired of it.
“I’m really sorry, Miller,” I said. “That was so awkward. Can we just pretend that didn’t happen?”
He let his eyes travel to the rearview mirror for a second before looking back at the road. “You don’t have anything to be sorry