my soup, I rinsed the bowl and got ready for my shift on the wall. The quiet, cold night enveloped me the minute I stepped outside. I paused and looked around. A fey moved silently in the shadows across the street and nodded to me. Relieved that I wasn’t totally alone, I nodded back.
The walk to the wall didn’t take long, and I saw Uan in my usual place when I arrived.
“Your mom missed you at dinner,” he said in lieu of a greeting.
I shook my head as I climbed the ladder and joined him.
“I slept so I could take a shift tonight,” I said. “I figured with so many fey gone, we’d need the extra eyes.”
Uan grunted and looked out at the skeletal trees.
“I thought you were avoiding us because you are angry Thallirin left.”
I studied him.
“Why would I be mad about that?”
Uan’s gaze met mine.
“You are often angry about many things,” he said with a shrug.
I frowned at him. My first thought was to say it wasn’t true. However, he was right. As much as I’d tried to hide it, even from myself, I was angry. Angry at Mya for not helping me. Angry at Thallirin for even looking at me after what happened at the bunker. At Van, for forcing me to do something I didn’t want to do to survive. Mostly, though, I was angry my father died so I could live, and I was angry at what happened to the world I once knew and everything that followed that I couldn’t prevent. It had all made me feel so helpless.
Then, it hit me. None of that anger had helped anything. It hadn’t changed the past or taken away the pain. In fact, I had only added to that buried ball of emotion by holding onto it. And holding onto that resentment because of my past was keeping me from fully embracing my future.
I looked at Uan.
“I’m sorry for all the angry things I’ve said to you in the past.”
“I’ve watched Byllo with Timmy. He watched Jessie with Savvy. When children are hurt and angry, parents hug them. Can I hug you?”
The simple request opened the world for me. I wasn’t the only one hurt by her past.
I nodded to Uan, and he wrapped me in a hug.
“We cannot change the past. What is done is done. But we can decide our future. I choose your mother and you and Zach. You will be my family, and I will be happy because I won’t be lonely anymore. What do you choose, Brenna?”
I hugged him back. Every fey had experienced their world change, not once but twice. First, when they were locked away and, again, when they were set free. They didn’t hold onto anger, though. They held onto hope. Hope for a family. Hope for a better future.
“Thank you, Uan. You’ve helped me more than you know.”
He gave me an awkward back pat and released me. I smiled at him.
A long, low howl distantly echoed. We both stared out into the darkness.
“You should go stay with your—”
“I’d rather stay here and watch your back when you jump down there to kill that thing. You’re important to Mom. And me.”
He grunted and looked over to one of the fey farther down the wall. That fey nodded.
“Was that a silent communication to keep an eye on me?” I asked.
Uan grinned widely, the white of his sharp teeth showing in the darkness.
“You’re important to all of us.”
“I know. Thank you.”
I waited with him, listening to the howl growing closer and the second one that joined it. Then the third. More fey came to the walls or started to patrol the grounds just inside them.
Several of the fey on the wall jumped down to the other side. They moved quietly as they stalked farther out into the trees. I’d seen the hellhounds up close when I’d been trapped in the bunker with Van. They’d attacked with a focused determination to get to the humans there, somehow sensing we were the weaker prey. Their single-minded focus had enabled the fey to kill the pair. But at a cost. One of them had died. Another, Ghua, had almost died.
The howling stopped, and I knew the hellhounds were stalking closer.
“Be careful,” I said to Uan as he stepped forward to jump.
“Don’t shoot me,” he said with another smile before he disappeared down into the darkness.
I watched for the twin, glowing red dots that would signal the hellhounds’ presence. When I saw them, I