Choose another fey. It won’t matter. I will still keep you safe and see you fed. I want nothing from you.”
“That’s not true. You do want something from me even if you’re trying not to want it. You said you wanted a female for companionship. But we both know that’s not all you want. What about sex?”
“I will not have sex with you.”
The abrupt way he said it surprised me.
“Ever?”
His gaze shifted, searching the room as if he was seeking a quick escape. It was more annoying than funny. He’d already run from me once. I didn’t want that happening again.
“You and I are having problems because we don’t understand each other, and we never will if we keep running away from the conversations we need to have.
“We have a rule in my family. If you’re thinking something, say it. Miscommunication is the number one problem in relationships.”
His gaze locked onto mine at that last word.
Damn hope.
“Any kind of relationship,” I said, clarifying. “Since you’re always around, I’m hoping we can put aside our differences and try to be friends. To get to know one another. I was mean and rude to you because I was afraid you’d take anything else as encouragement to pursue me. I don’t want to keep going as we have. But I need to know what your long-term hope is because if it’s something I don’t think I can give, I want to be upfront about it. I don’t want to lead you on.”
His ears darkened, something I’d noticed happens with the fey.
“Are you embarrassed?”
He grunted, and I felt a small amount of pity for the guy. Like Angel had pointed out, I was probably the first girl he ever liked.
“Don’t be embarrassed. Just be honest. Do you want to have sex with me?”
“We shouldn’t be talking about this,” he said, his face getting even darker.
Realization hit me.
“Because I’m not eighteen yet?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Thank you for clarifying. I thought talking about sex was embarrassing you.”
“No.”
“Once I’m eighteen, do you hope to have sex with me?”
His gaze met mine. The intensity there was more than a little intimidating.
“I don’t want to scare you.”
“I’m not afraid of sex.”
“You think I’ll rape you.”
I exhaled heavily and considered him for a moment.
“I was angry and afraid because you were trying to control my options and taking away my freedom of choice. I need to choose who I’m with as much as the other person has the right to choose me. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“If you want sex, and I tell you I don’t want sex, would you force me to have sex anyway?”
“No.”
“Would you try to bribe me with food or manipulate me into having sex?”
“Never.”
“What about forcing me to do other things? Like staying home instead of going on supply runs? Or sitting inside a house when I don’t want to?”
He leaned forward in his chair, bracing his hands on his legs.
“I don’t want to take your choices from you ever, Brenna. But I will not hesitate to do so if you are in danger. I didn’t ask to hold you in my arms when the infected were attacking. I did it anyway. I didn’t ask to look at your leg. I needed to be sure you were safe. I will not take your choices, but I will not sacrifice your safety for your pride.”
I blinked at him for a moment, trying to decide if I needed to be offended or properly reassured. I went for reassured.
“It’s not pride, Thallirin. It’s fear. You say you don’t see it in my eyes, but it’s here inside of me. I’m afraid of you, not because of your scars but because of the power you could have over me if you wanted.”
He looked down, and a small smile tugged at his lips. It was the first expression outside of his normal, cold detachment I’d ever seen on him.
“What’s funny about that?” I asked.
“That you think I have any power over you. You control me, Brenna. Not the other way around.”
I considered him for a long moment, liking the idea of holding power over someone like him. It made me feel safer. But was it true? He’d just admitted there were times he would override my choices. But when it came to sex, I didn’t think he would. In that one instance, I truly believed that I would have the power and freedom of choice.
Elation, almost to the point of tears, filled me as I studied him. For the first time, I saw him