his brown bomber leather jacket, coupled with his dark wash jeans sitting perfectly on his hips, is enough to make me ache inside. But I remain as poised as possible and plaster on my best poker face to greet him with a cold, “How did you get in here?”
Ben clears his throat and blushes a bit, “I called your mother and she gave me the code to get into your building.”
Damn my mother and her crazy Ben obsession. How dare she!
“Oh really” I say unimpressed and lean against the doorway to block his view into my condo, “Well you should have called first, because I was just on my way out.”
“Oh” Ben sighs and runs his fingers through his dark hair. He pauses for a second, letting a moment of silence linger between us. He narrows his eyes at me and tilts his chin upward, “But even if I would have called you, you would have just ignored it. Isn’t that what you’ve been doing lately…purposely avoiding me?”
I blush a bit and look away, “I’ve avoided you for good reason,” I say and cross my arms in front of my chest.
Ben leans over and places his hand on the brass knob putting his face inches in front of mine, “Are you going to let me in or not?”
I gulp and step aside to let him walk through my doorway. He slides off his jacket and places it on the bench in the entry. He casually walks into the living room and flops down on my sofa in his usual spot, (the far left corner, which just happens to be the comfiest worn in cushion). He looks up at me with pursed lips and drapes his arm along the back of the sofa then pats the spot beside him. I roll my eyes and shake my head, stubbornly frozen in my foyer.
“Just say what you have to say Ben.” I snap, and then add, “Because I really have to get going.”
I can’t stand his casual demeanor. It’s like he has forgotten everything that happened in Costa Rica, and it’s like he just thinks all is well between us; when it clearly isn’t (at least from my perspective). More importantly, I just wish he would put me out of my misery and whip out the friend card, so I can tell him the idea of us being friends is no longer an option.
“Fine” Ben sighs, and nervously says, “Well first of all, Happy Birthday.”
“Thanks” I mutter tapping my foot impatiently on the floor.
“I’m really sorry for what happened at the wedding. That was totally out of line.” He gets up from the sofa, and starts to walk over to me.
“Thanks Ben, that’s just what I needed. A really nice apology,” I sarcastically say, “I still don’t know what you’re doing here. After everything that happened, you can’t actually think things will ever be the same between us. Besides, shouldn’t you be at The Berghoff on another date tonight?”
“What are you talking about?” Ben stops dead in his tracks, “Wait? How did you know I was at The Berghoff?”
“Michelle saw you!” I shout and suddenly start to feel the tears well up in the corners of my eyes.
Pull it together Megan! Do not let him see you cry! Not now! You were doing so well!
“I was out with my sister.” He calmly lets out a sigh and pushes back his broad shoulders.
“You’re lying to me! Just like you did about Stephanie!” I scream at him, and place my head in my hands. I wish I could just control myself. This spastic loose cannon approach to putting him in his place is not what I had planned at all when I imagined us coming face to face for the first time since things ended.
“Megan, calm down!” Ben shouts back with hurt behind his eyes, “I’m not lying to you. My sister lost like fifty pounds, remember? Michelle probably didn’t recognize her. But if she would have come over to our table, she would have known that. I took her out for dinner because I needed someone to talk to - about you.” He finishes and points his finger at me.
“Even if it’s that’s the case,” I say putting my hands rigidly to my hips, now completely unsure of what to believe and feeling slightly stupid, “It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s over and nothing will ever be the same between us. I just can’t be friends again.”
“Megan – “Ben pleads.
“I just can’t do it.” I