they just talked.” Jessica says batting her eyes at me, “But I think Eric’s right. You do have a guilty glow.”
I roll my eyes and watch Jessica share a giggle with Stephanie and Michelle. I snap at them to mind their own business and push in front of my group of friends. I can feel Ben’s eyes follow me as I storm away, which only makes me extra uncomfortable. Thankfully, the lady at the counter finally calls us up to check-in for our flight.
Once I get to my seat, I pop a few gravel tablets for some much needed shut eye. Flying has always made me nervous. The main reason is because I can never seem to wrap my head around how something so incredibly large and heavy can literally float on air. It just seems physically impossible. More importantly, ever since 9/11, the fear of being trapped in a confined space millions of feet in the air with virtual strangers who could be potential terrorists makes me ill. I have shared these insane rationalizations with Ben on a few occasions and even more so over the past few weeks leading up to this trip. He laughs and tells me I am way too neurotic, which may be true, but at least I am prepared for the worst.
Michelle abruptly stops in the aisle, looks down at her ticket and moans. She grumbles something about being stuck beside Grandma Megan, just as I am pulling out my eye mask from my purse.
“Hey Megan, trade me spots.” Stephanie shouts at me from across the aisle.
“No thanks.” I decline when I notice Ben is sitting next to her. Had I slept alone last night, I would have gladly traded in a heartbeat. This time definitely not.
I snuggle up against the window of the plane, listening to Stephanie and Michelle start a gossip filled discussion over the latest JLO scandal splashed on the front cover of an In-Style magazine one of them purchased at the gift shop. I hear Stephanie’s chipper voice promptly order morning mimosas’ from the flight attendant, making me happy I am about to slip off into la-la land.
**
I abruptly wake up to a hand caressing my shoulder. When my eyes flutter open, I see Ben sitting beside me. I think I stop breathing as he says, “Michelle traded spots with me once you fell asleep. I hope you don’t mind.”
“No that’s fine.” I say. Even though it totally isn’t.
Ben smiles at me, and leans back in his seat, “I guess I’ll have to throw out that hat now.”
“What hat?” I ask, playing dumb.
“Oh, come on Megan.” Ben raises his voice, but then quickly brings it to a whispering tease, “Well, since everyone thinks it belongs to your ex-lover-boy Marco. I wouldn’t want to blow your cover.”
“Only Jessica saw it.” I snarl, but then add with humor, “But just to be safe, I am going to torch it once I get back home.”
Ben’s eyes soften and he runs his fingertip along my jawline, “Come on, it wasn’t that bad was it?”
I blush feeling a knotted mess form in my stomach. I am too scared to answer and even more scared of the mishmash of unidentified feelings milling around in my brain. One look at Ben and I know things have changed. He looks at me differently. There is a mist in his eyes and a shadow of uncertainty plastered on his face. Where has my best friend gone? I don’t know what to say, so I force my gaze out the window, to catch my first glimpse of the tropical paradise.
I am saved from any further discussion, when the impact of the wheels hits the landing strip. I nearly jump out of my skin from the jolt of friction, and see Ben catch me in clenched fists. He flashes me a coy grin and gently squeezes my hands for comfort. For a second, I want to squeeze his hand back and give him a kiss on the cheek, but the thought frightens me and I pull my hand away. Ben clenches his jaw, straightens up in his seat, and looks away. I am so confused. What is going on between us? I can barely handle being in his presence. I need to get off this plane.
When the plane comes to a complete stop, Jessica jumps up from her seat and shouts out to every passenger, “We’re getting married!”
Michael quickly yanks her down and scolds her for making a scene. Michelle and