pot a coffee and hopped in the shower. I wish more than anything the steamy little details from our so-called “mistake” would stop sneaking up on me; like both of us laughing away as we stumbled up the stairwell and busted through the door of my condo, or Ben thrusting me up against the kitchen wall to meet his soft lips with mine, or Ben slamming me down on the couch and ripping off my shirt, and finally us breaking into my bedroom and sealing the deal.
I shudder and scrub myself down with my loofa. I can only hope the more water that washes over me, will rinse away those thoughts forever. But without any luck, by the time I am dried off and back in my bedroom I can’t stop replaying the night in my mind. Just seeing my sheets mangled all over my bed makes me flush and ache inside. I so desperately want to shake away the part of me that actually liked what happened between us, especially because it feels so weird and wrong. I couldn’t possibly have feelings like that for Ben. He is my best friend.
I start to brush out my wet and tangled hair, when a memory flashes in my mind. It was New Year’s Eve and our last year of university. Stephanie and Michelle had somehow convinced Jessica to ditch Michael for the night, which meant it would strictly be us girls. Therefore, I was forced to wear stiletto heels, green eye shadow, and an uncomfortably short jean mini-skirt that was one size too small.
I was totally out of my element. I wished we could have stayed in and given each other manicures and pedicures, while watching Dick Clark’s Countdown with a big bowl of popcorn. Besides, it was abnormally cold outside, and I had just started casually seeing Marco, who at the time I was head over heels for. I also had no intentions of “picking up tonight” as Stephanie casually stated, while she smeared on a bright red layer lipstick.
Once we made it to a club called The Cove, Michelle was the first one to drunkenly stumble out of the cab, and landed face first on the concrete. I immediately stepped into mother hen mode, and suggested we bring her back to our apartment. Stephanie, in her drunken stupor told me to shut-up and relax. She bent down and unknowingly flashed a row of sorority boys her butt cheeks, while helping me bring Michelle to her feet. Jessica was so preoccupied on her cell phone that she hadn’t even heard a word I said. I tugged her arm and said Michelle had too much to drink, and insisted we bring her back to the apartment.
Jessica flipped her phone shut and slapped Michelle playfully across the face, “Just get her some water. It’s New Year’s Eve Megan. Stop being such a prude.”
Once we were inside, the booming music vibrated against the walls and swallowed any sort of voice that tried to escape our lips. Immediately Stephanie and Michelle hit the dance floor and grinded amongst the sweaty mosh-pit of people busting a move. I absolutely refused to join them and had Jessica escort me up to the bar to get a drink. While I waited for our order, Jessica stood off to the side, still engulfed in her cell phone sending a streamline of text messages. Within minutes, Michael appeared with Ben and their other two friends Matthew and Eric.
Right away I knew Jessica had been texting Michael the whole time, and meeting him there was her plan all along. While part of me was annoyed by her sneaky antics, the other part of me was actually quite pleased to see them, especially Ben. As the night progressed, Jessica and Michael eventually disappeared, leaving me to play babysitter to Stephanie and Michelle, while Matthew, Eric and Ben sat up at the bar drinking beer. I had to admit, the countdown wasn’t the same without Dick Clark and a warm blanket, but as the DJ shouted out the remaining seconds to midnight, I was thankful for everything in my life, including my friends.
With an explosion of confetti all over the club, people were hugging and kissing all around us. Matthew and Michelle, who for years had been on again off again, were making out on the dance floor. Eric and Stephanie laughed, and gave each other a friendly hug. Then they switched off to share one with Ben and I. But, when