agreement, because we aren’t even on an island! We are in Central America!
I force myself away from their vain happenings, and sort out our three bride-maids dresses thrown on the sofa. I toss them over my forearm and neatly hang them up in the closet to ensure they don’t wrinkle. I am clipping the last hanger in place when I hear the phone ring. I shout out to Stephanie and Michelle to answer it, but they don’t hear me over their continual chitchat. I slam the closet door shut, tumble across the marble floor, trip over the straightening iron cord, and finally bounce off the sofa. Somehow, I manage to clasp the phone in my hand, just in time to muster a hello. I rub my bruised ribs and hear Jessica on the line.
“Don’t forget our dinner reservations are at seven o’clock sharp.” Jessica says and then switches to a hushed whisper, “Listen Megan, I am counting on you. Please make sure Michelle and Stephanie, do not get too drunk before we meet everyone for dinner.”
I glance over into the bathroom and see Stephanie shotgun a beer, while Michelle laughs and cheers her on. I heave out a heavy sigh, “Honestly Jessica, I can’t promise anything.”
“Megan!” Jessica whines, “Michael’s parents are way too uptight for any kind of stupidity. As my maid of honor it is your duty to make sure this night isn’t a total disaster.”
I bite down on my nails a tad bit worried about this sudden responsibility, because I know Stephanie and Michelle never listen to a word I say. Then just as we are about to get off the phone, Jessica adds, “Oh, and don’t forget to put on something sexy. Steven will be there. You don’t want to disappoint.”
I hang up the phone and feel a churn of unease in my stomach. I am so confused by what to do about Steven, because this whole Ben thing is tearing me up inside. Adding another man into the mix is surely going to confuse the hell out of me. I should really just come clean and tell Jessica everything that happened between Ben and I last night. She would know what to do.
No! Don’t be ridiculous! Ben is your friend, not boyfriend. You have a real chance at a normal relationship with a guy like Steven. Don’t mess it up!
Fine. My subconscious is right. I will keep this burdening secret to myself. Who am I kidding? Ben is the last guy in the world who wants to settle down and have an actual relationship. He has been with so many women that even I have lost count. If I told Jessica, she would scold me for even thinking Ben and I could possibly cross over from the friendship zone. I know she would happily remind me he takes pride in picking up random women from the bar and sleeping with them on the same night. She would also remind me his longest relationship was less than a year old and he never once bought her a bouquet of flowers.
My head becomes light just thinking about the pickle I have gotten myself in. I know I am not looking to get married or anything like that, but the closer I get to my twenty-fifth birthday, the more I want to have a meaningful and committed relationship. If Jessica were giving me advice right now, I have no doubt in my mind that she would insist I drop my irrational feelings for Ben, and focus my energy on someone like Steven, who can give me what I am looking for.
Blah! I hate how the truth hurts. I need to lock myself in the bathroom and have a serious one on one with the mirror.
The last time I did this was when I lost my virginity. My high school boyfriend Donny and I were in his room making out when he slipped his hand up my shirt. I clamped down on his arm and stopped him inches away from my nipple. I knew this was the cross over from first base, all the way to home plate. Something about that made me want to think things through before I took the final plunge. I quickly sat up and told Donny I needed to use the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror, just like I am doing right now and asked myself a few key questions.
Did I think I loved Donny? That answer was simple. Yes I did.
Did