with that.”
“Pansy...”
“No. The only one who had control over it was him.”
“Oh, come on,” West said. “You’re not that rigid. Not that rigid that you can’t see that he’s had it tough. That he has it different than other kids, that he wasn’t able to make the same choices that a kid like you was.”
“I went through enough,” she said, stubborn.
“And you had enough,” West said. “He was out here surviving on nothing. He had to feed himself and the dog.”
“Why didn’t he come straight to you?”
“I imagine he was afraid of getting rejected,” West said. “And you might scoff at that, but you have to remember that you had a family that took care of you this whole time. Our own mother didn’t particularly want to take care of us. I don’t think Emmett took it for granted that I would just take him in. It’s what he wanted, but he didn’t think he could ask for it. So he was skulking around in the woods being pissed. I don’t just relate to that, I over relate to it.”
“I’m not trying to be mean,” she said. “But I have to follow procedure. And I have to follow the law.”
“You know what,” West said, something wild and angry firing through his blood. Through his vision. “Fuck your rules.”
And then, somehow, she was in his arms again, and he was kissing her. Kissing her like he might find answers if he searched the deepest parts of her mouth. Kissing her like he could melt her bones and her propriety and her adherence to the rules.
Kissing her like there was nothing else to be done, because as far as he was concerned there wasn’t. Then somehow, he called upon all the strength in himself to grab hold of her arms and lift her up, setting her away from him.
She took a step back. “Don’t,” she said. As if she had been the one to stop the kiss, when they both knew full well she hadn’t been.
“Then don’t kiss me back like you’re dying for it,” he said.
“This has nothing to do with...your brother. Or my job. Or procedure.”
“No. It just is. And I think that’s just how sex works sometimes.”
Even in the half-light from the porch he could see color mount in her face. “There won’t be any sex.”
He shrugged, the gesture casual while he felt anything but. “Suit yourself.”
She squared her shoulders, all business again. “I need you to bring him by the station tomorrow morning. I need you to do that. Otherwise... I’m going to have to come here.”
“I’ll bring him by,” he said.
Pansy nodded, and then she walked down the stairs. It was only the rhythm of her feet on the boards that told him her footsteps were unsteady.
She got in her car and drove away.
And left him.
That was when West Caldwell realized that not only did he have a kid brother to take care of, he also suddenly had a dog.
CHAPTER TEN
PANSY HAD WRESTLED with herself all the previous night. Not because of the kiss, and not because of what she had said to West, but because of the fact that she had left him.
That she had simply left Emmett and his dog with the command for them all to come to the police station tomorrow.
She felt like she should have done more. But she would have left the kid in any other circumstances, especially when the adult taking care of him was more than fit. She would have handled it the exact same way if it had been anyone else, and only the fact that it was West made her feel like she should have stayed. Like she should have done something to make him feel not quite so alone, when West had never indicated he had any such issues.
She thought about going over in the morning.
She didn’t.
Instead, she drove straight to the police station, the scenery around her a blur of green, the red brick of the small town blending together into a seamless background of familiarity. It was easy to make the drive, even while distracted, because it was so familiar.
She shouldn’t be spacing out like this. She knew that. She was the first to lecture people up and down about safe driving, but her brain felt foggy, and her body felt restless. She would have actually relished a run this morning.
And she was in luck, because when she got in to the station Chief Doering forced them right back out to do a jog.
She