her bedroom. She didn’t know how many times she woke up in the night and turned to him. She lost track of the heights he took her to. She was reduced. To nothing more than a shattered, glittering thing. And yet, she felt like more as well.
Like she had never been so in touch with all of the places of her body. With every beat of her heart.
When they finally did sleep for real, the sky was turning gray. And she fell asleep dreaming of what it had meant to be with West during each evolution of the sky. From gold to a midnight of stars, and back to that pale morning.
It felt like them.
Like the way they were together. Fiery and passionate. A sweet blanket of comfort. The beginning of something new.
Those thoughts spun around in her head until her eyes drifted shut for real.
* * *
SHE SAT UPRIGHT before she realized she was awake. The sky was far too blue. It was not early. It was much too late.
West was lying next to her, and he was never here this late.
She looked at her phone.
“Dammit,” she said. She stumbled out of bed in a panic. Her interview was in twenty-five minutes. There was no way she was going to be able to get ready and get there in time. It took her ten minutes just to drive into town.
She started moving around in a tear, trying to find her uniform. Which of course should be exactly where it always was. It wasn’t, though. Because she had left it in the car, because she had gotten distracted when she had come home and seen the basket. She ran out of the house wrapped in a towel, and dug through her car, taking the uniform bag and running back in. Then she started dressing as quickly as possible.
“What’s going on?” West asked, his voice gravelly.
“We overslept. I have an interview.”
“Shit,” he said, getting out of bed. “Emmett is probably late to school. Awesome first day of guardianship.”
“I’m never late,” she said. She couldn’t even care about him or Emmett. It was all too... She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to keep from panicking. Then she grabbed her phone and dialed the number for the city manager.
“I’m going to be late,” she said. “Can you delay the panel by ten or fifteen minutes?”
“I’m afraid I can’t” was the response. “We’ll discuss among ourselves until you arrive.”
She gritted her teeth, angry that she had taken time away from getting ready to make the call.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you there.”
She let out a frustrated growl and continued getting ready. Her hair was in a ponytail. She didn’t often bother with makeup anyway.
“Is there anything I can do?” West asked.
“Don’t talk to me,” she said, her heart hammering. She couldn’t think through all the implications of this. She just couldn’t. She was too frantic. And she had to get there. And she needed him to not talk to her.
“All right,” he said. “If that’s what would help you.”
“It would,” she said.
She tore out of the house and got into her car, driving as quickly as she could down into town without breaking any speed laws, because God only knew how horrific it would be if she got pulled over for speeding on her way to the job interview.
When she walked in, there was clearly a discussion happening. She took a breath and sat down at the table. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
“I think we’re close to being finished here,” Barbara said.
“Don’t you have questions for me?”
“Well,” Barbara said. “We might have. But we are on a schedule. And we have another interview directly after. This is your chance to make a final statement.”
Everyone was looking at her, and she felt herself falling apart. Felt herself losing her grip. On everything.
“I’m qualified for the job,” she said, her voice breaking. “I’m the most qualified person. It’s not...it’s not actually a debate. Just because Barbara doesn’t like me. I’m sorry I was late today. It’s the first time in eight years with the department I’ve been late to anything. My superior officer can attest to that,” she said, carefully not looking at Chief Doering. “I care about this town. Nobody else cares about it more. I hope you’ll do the right thing.”
“Thank you, Pansy,” the city manager said. “We will keep all this in mind as we make the decision.”
She stood and walked out of the room on numb legs. Then she stopped just outside