Her body quaked. “It’s just that…she’s so beautiful and tiny. I’m scared I won’t be good at this.” Gia looked up at the nurse. “Am I doing this right? I’ve never held a baby before…”
“You’re doing perfect. You see how natural it is? How right it feels?”
Gia nodded. “It does.”
I was surprised by my reaction. My own tears bubbled to the surface, despite trying to suppress them. I’m generally not very emotional. But I recognized the feeling that overcame me. It was the same wave of contentment and relief that hit me when I held her for the first time. However, from the start of this pregnancy, my heart swelled with so much love I thought it would burst.
Jill opened the bottom of the incubator, removing a pre-made bottle and nipple. Would you like to feed her?” She held up the bottle. “Or try to breast feed?”
“I’d like to try to breast feed, but we want to supplement, too,” she replied, and the nurse agreed both were good. I stepped back, giving Jill and Gia room. Gia opened her gown and tore the Velcro panel open. Bella immediately latched on when Gia placed her nipple along the seam of Bella’s mouth.
“Wow, it doesn’t feel very pleasant—hurts,” she spit out, wincing from the pain.
Jill’s response was swift. “Completely normal. Your body’s still recovering, and your milk’s just coming in and that’s painful. But eventually, your nipples will toughen up.”
I smirked, thinking of a few ways I could help toughen her nipple…clamps.
Gia looked up from the baby and rolled her eyes. “You’re such a caveman. I know exactly what you’re thinking…you know that, right?”
I shrugged and laughed. Jill blushed and refocused the attention back to my daughter. I learned how to change Bella while Gia looked on from the chair. Still unable to walk…she took her instruction from the sidelines. Jill explained to Gia that it was prudent to switch nipples with every feeding, and we found the pacifier to be a game-changer. I was going to get a few thousand of those. At times, Bella fussed, and it was either because she was hungry, wet, or tired. That pacifier saved our ears and sanity. Jill brought Gia some lunch. Bella stayed with us and slept. And the first of many deliveries of flowers started to roll in.
Beauty’s face lit up into a wide smile. There were three vases of roses. White, red, and yellow. I handed beauty the first card to read. “What does it say, my love?”
“I, Abel Gunner, choose you, Gia Mastro, to be my wedded wife,” she recited, and then I handed her the next card from the second arrangement. “I promise to love you, comfort you, be true to you, and dominate you all the days of my life.” She grinned and the first tears began to fall. I walked over to the third vase and handed her that card. “I gave you that ring as a solemn vow to you. Now, with this ring, I thee wed.”
I held out my hand. Two rings rested side by side. One, a diamond eternity band, and the other, a thick, plain platinum band. She covered her eyes, sobbing. Her tears leaked between her fingers and down her arms.
I knelt down in front of her, prying her swollen, bruised hands from her eyes. She looked up and into my eyes. “Do you have any idea how much I love you…I love you so much…I hate you.”
I smiled, because I totally understood. “I love you, too, but you once told me that for every man there is a woman who could bring him to his knees. I never believed that—ever. I always valued my privacy—my space. But, without you here, I’m haunted. It isn’t the darkness in me that scares me anymore. It’s the emptiness I’d feel without you.” I cupped her beautiful face, asking for the words I needed. “Now give me the words that will give us our happy ending.”
Fuck, I even sounded gay to me. Chance and his constant blabbering about happily-ever-afters got me thinking. This wasn’t something a rocker would say or do. Then again, I wasn’t your average rocker. However, this experience has left a permanent gash in my soul, and she was the bandage I needed to heal.
“Yes, I will marry you,” she answered.
My heart burst with joy, and a sense of peace and balance was returned to me.
“Thank you, Beauty.” I leaned forward, careful not to hurt her, and brushed my lips against hers.