save your wife’s life,” he pleaded, and then they pushed me through the steel door.
My wife…
They worked, but despite their efforts, Gia’s heart gave up as soon as I left the room. The hallway swarmed with medical staff, but I refused to move from the window.
The nurse held my daughter, cradled in her arms beside me. Her eyes wide and alert, and a feeling I never had came over me. “Please take care of my daughter. I hope to be there soon.” She nodded and I kissed my angel on her perfect head. I tried to project as much calmness at this child as possible. Whether she was able to understand or interpreted, I didn’t know. But the new father in me fought to protect what was mine.
Mine.
I directed my attention back to my love. Someone inserted a tube down her throat and connected it to the oxygen supply. Another charged the defibrillator. The team stood back and Gia’s body jerked upward, her arms falling to her side. Could life be that cruel to give us a healthy daughter and take her mother away so soon? Someone yelled “charge,” and again, my love’s body surged upward, and the team froze, watching the monitor. I watched. Come on. Come on. A low blip crossed the monitor. A nurse yelled, “We’ve got a pulse,” and they continued to watch as her heartbeat grew stronger and stronger. The doctor picked up his instrument, and the team worked on the bleed. My own heart started again, and I slid down the wall until my ass met the cold hard floor. And I gagged.
Some lessons are best learned through pain… Sometimes, our visions clear only after our eyes are washed with tears…sometimes, we have to be broken so we can be whole again. If God meant the day to be perfect, he would not have invented tomorrow… So don’t worry if today wasn’t perfect, because you still have another. And if there’s anything in your heart that feels right, go after it no matter what it takes…because you’re only given a limited amount of tomorrows.
I remained in the NICU with my little precious angel. She was doing well, and the nurse said there were no complications from her birth and she’d be moving to the regular nursery as early as tomorrow. She was diapered and lay under the warming lights of the incubator to help regulate her body temperature—which was explained to me as being normal procedure for all newborns. I hovered over her, counting ten fingers and toes. She weighed eight pounds, two ounces with a mess of dark hair. I was surprised to see a baby with so much hair. Then again…I don’t remember ever seeing a newborn in my life. None of my friends had kids or were planning to anytime soon.
Kristen, a nurse from the care-team, was rambling away when I noticed a red mark on my daughter’s thigh. “What’s that mark?” I pointed, concerned she was injured somehow.
She leaned in and smiled. “It’s a birthmark, Mr. Gunner,” she quickly answered. “Looks like a dragonfly, doesn’t it?”
I smiled and leaned in for a closer look. “It does.” And for the first time today, there was joy in my heart. I grabbed my phone and Googled Dragonfly birthmark.
Folklore suggests that what a woman was experiencing during pregnancy is imprinted on the child in the form of a birthmark. She who wears this totem is the balance keeper between the ‘little me’ and the ‘God self.’ The Dragonfly carries the wisdom of transformation and adaptability in life, and is connected to the symbolism of change and light. Aerial lightness, those who have this symbol can develop the ability to take things lightly, even in the darkest moments. She invites people to keep a light, positive outlook no matter what, and transcends lightness in thoughts as well as lightness in feelings. She works with the power of light and fairy realms.
My little angel of light, I thought. I placed my hand upon the top of her incubator and sent her back all the positive energy I had left. Whatever I had…I’d give it to my angel and Beauty.
“She’s a special little baby. After all, her daddy is the lead singer of the Lethal Abel.” She grinned up at me and continued to fawn over my daughter. I completely forgot about the media circus that was going on around the hospital. I asked Dave to hold off on an official statement until Gia had some