his presence, and I shifted uncomfortably. The rustle of my clothes sent a buzz through my skin.
When even Mari turned her eyes toward the game, I knew I had to act.
“Ken,” I said. “Ken, get over here.”
His hand paused midway through throwing a ball.
“Hand that off to Henry,” I said. “Come on, Ken, we’ve gotta talk.”
With nothing but the power of my voice, I pulled him away from the kitchen and into the darkness.
Singled out and away from Pothan, Ken looked small and a little confused. “What’s going on with you?” I said.
“Uhh.”
“Mari,” I said. “Didn’t you know that girl who liked Ken?”
She gave me a wide-eyed look, then fell into step. “Oh, uhh, yeah.”
Ken finally plopped onto a cushion. The game in the kitchen went on for a bit, but Pothan shouted, “What’s going on over there?”
When we didn’t respond, he drifted over, hanging on to the edge of our conversation. Ken had opened up. “Nah, nah, not Jayne, nah.” Mari, now primed, giggled and giggled, and he broke into a big smile.
Pothan hung over us, pausing the game, and he jumped in. “This fucking guy,” Pothan said. “He has no game, zero game, Ken can’t pull shit.”
Suddenly I looked up, locked eyes with Pothan. “Dude,” I said.
“What?”
“Dude.”
“Come on, it’s just the truth.”
We looked at each other for a long time, just like Lyle and I had earlier tonight. But this time the energy was completely different. Dave, next to me, radiated good cheer. Ken, sheepish, kept out of the way. All the eyes and hearts were on my side, and Pothan, feeling the unconscious energy of the room, shook his shoulders.
“Yeah, dude, we’re gonna get Ken laid,” Pothan said. “We’re gonna get him laid. It’s like I once told you, Nandy-poo, somewhere out there some girl’s drawing hearts around your name. And look where that got him!”
Now Dave snorted, and I thought he’d ruin everything by telling Pothan that I’d used his line once, but he stayed quiet.
Pothan lurked around the edge of the conversation, not dominating it, not trying to organize everybody else, but just being cool and helpful, and when Niko got surly again, I gave Pothan a glance, and he ran interference, pulling Niko into his drinking game.
Eventually Niko and Jess left. Carrie had disappeared again. Mari yawned after every sentence, and finally I turned off Pothan’s music. Hen surveyed the room. “Well, this has gone dead.”
“You want to sleep here?”
“I suppose.”
Pothan gave me a high five. “Dude,” he said. “We have to hang out more.”
“Totally.”
“Brunch tomorrow?”
“I like brunch.”
Now he leaned close, and he whispered in my ear. “Are you gonna get on that shit?”
Dave was in our hall closet, looking for a pillow and blanket for Mari. I looked at his back. I wanted badly to wrap my arms around his narrow torso, and I tried to remember why exactly I’d been repulsed by him before.
When the door closed on Ken and Pothan, I came up to him. He stared at me, and I stared at him.
“Umm, is my mom’s room open?” I said.
“Hen’s in there,” he said.
“Shit, we need to get him out before she comes home.”
“Yeah . . . actually . . .” He was still smiling. “I’ve gotta get home.”
Why would he say that? Why would he ruin this night? But now he went around the darkened room, picking up his stuff, and I was suddenly very aware that we were broken up and that this was our very last night together.
He stood in front of the door, one hand on the knob.
“Thanks,” I said. “You’ve been amazing.”
“Yeah?”
“You made this happen. Every bit of it.”
“I had fun,” he said.
“You weren’t bored?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“You were quiet. I thought you might be bored.”
“I wasn’t.”
He took a breath. I moved a step closer. Maybe no more touching. I saw a flicker in his eye, and I understood. My face went blank, and I stood there, heart pounding. The doorknob turned again, and I expected to see his smile get wider, but instead I smelled his sweat in the air.
When his hand touched my shoulder, it was clammy. We stood for a long minute. And suddenly that intensity disappeared. I thought again of the pain of trying and trying and it never feeling quite right, and I was about to take a step back.
His bag dropped to the ground. He came upon me all of a sudden, but the kiss was slow and gentle, and before I knew it we’d collapsed onto the