her jaw clenched, and her whole body compressed. “I just don’t wanna be here anymore. You stay. Have fun. But, umm, try to keep the place in one piece. And clean up tomorrow.”
We heard the distant sound of Pothan’s shouts. The floodlights on top of the garage threw half of Avani’s face into shadow.
“Look,” she said. “They came here ready to party, and you didn’t really have another plan for them. What did you think would happen?”
“You were the one who wanted this party.”
“The lake house was always your idea. Even last year, you were the one who wanted stuff to be different. It was your party. Your plan. I don’t know . . . I can’t help you.” She shook her head.
Her key was in her hand, and suddenly the trunk popped open.
“Avani,” I said. “Stay. Please.”
“There’s no point.” She smiled at me. “You know, you’re a good guy, but maybe . . . you’re just not really a leader?”
Embarrassingly, my eyes misted with tears, and with physical effort, I sucked them back into my face—I don’t know if that’s possible, but it really felt like that. I swallowed, and I turned around, not seeing anything.
Mari was in the doorway, holding her bag, and now she stopped short. My first terrified thought was that she’d heard what Avani had said: You’re not really a leader.
“S-sorry,” Mari said.
“Uh-uh,” I said. “You don’t have to—”
Avani snapped her fingers. “Come on. Let’s go.”
I stared at Avani with pure hatred in my eyes.
“Just try to have fun,” Avani said. “And be nice to Dave. He’s a good guy.” Then she shut the door.
The trunk popped open, and Mari went around to the back and threw her bag in.
“Mari,” I said. “Come on.”
She grimaced at me. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’ll, uhh, I’ll be back when I’ve dropped her off.”
Then she was in the car, and I saw her fumbling with the keys. Jessie came around too, giving me a blank look, and got in next to Avani. I thought of Dave, sitting somewhere inside, forlorn and hopeless and abandoned, and my blood pulsed with anger.
When I went in, he was standing by the foyer, his eyes not really registering what’d happened.
“Hey, dude,” he said. “I was thinking we could go up and—”
I grabbed him by the back of the neck. “I’m sorry.” My throat was raw, and the words came out strangely. “I’m sorry.”
“N-no,” he said. “I’m the sorry one. I know you wanted more.”
“It’s okay.”
Now I pulled back, and I spotted the beers on the table.
“Well,” I said. “Let’s get fucked up.” You’re not really a leader.
“Uhh.”
I got a beer, popped the tab, inhaled deeply. That salty-piss smell was so good right now. But Dave was still pale and withdrawn and leaning against the refrigerator door with both hands crossed behind his back.
“What?” I said.
“Give me one too.”
Outside, Carrie whooped, the sound ululating in her throat, going up and down endlessly.
“We should go outside,” I said. “We look stupid hanging out in here alone.”
“Err, okay, if you want,” he said. “Let me just, uhh, get changed?”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. People might get in the water, and I like these pants.”
“Sure. Whatever.”
Now he paused by the stairs.
“Umm,” he said. “Did you want to change too?”
I looked down. What I really wanted was to get so drunk I couldn’t think. Those words were still rolling around in my stomach: You’re not really a leader.
“Okay.”
He ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and I followed him, much slower. Earlier, when it became clear we’d be spending the night, we’d dumped our bags in two separate rooms, and in my room I put on my swimming shorts and threw my phone into a drawer. There was a brief flare outside the window, and then more whooping. I sat down heavily on the bed. My eyes hurt.
After a few seconds, Dave knocked on the door, holding his bag.
“Umm,” he said. “Since Mari’s gone, do you mind if I sleep in here?”
“Sure,” I said. “Good thinking. It’s gonna get crazy later. We can bunker down together.”
He looked around, and I could see him wondering if we’d sleep in the same bed, but I pointed to the trundle bed underneath the main one. “Here.” I pushed it out with my feet. “There you go. Sheets are in the closet.”
He still wasn’t changed, I noticed. He pulled a pair of swim trunks from his bag. Then he looked at me and gave a little smile. One hand was