in, stuff like how you’ve gotta sack up and be a warrior and never show fear. That’s all true. It’s all really true. Because without that you’re just nobody.”
Dave tipped up his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose, and the air whipped his fine hair off to the side.
“I’ve just got to make a move on Mari,” he said. “I’ve got to make a move.”
I nodded. “Pretty much.”
My phone buzzed again.
Pothan: What the hell, where are you?
The sun kissed the ocean, and all the heat seemed to sizzle out of the sand. I pulled my hoodie closer and said, “Hey, you want to come hang out?”
“I’ve gotta go back to work.”
“What about after? You could invite Mari! Give it another shot, seriously, dude.”
He looked down; then his eyes went back to me. “Sure. I can give it a try.”
“Do it!” I said. “We’re gonna make this happen.”
I got up, nodding my head, and left with a big smile.
While I was gone, Pothan and Ken had regrouped at the car. They handed me another forty, and after I’d gotten a third of the way through, they told me to lean back against the door, and Pothan put out his hands.
“Now don’t freak out,” he said.
“All right. . . .”
“But we invited Avani to come down.”
“Dude,” I said. “She’s not gonna come. She’s done with the beach scene. That’s why she asked us to the lake house.”
“She’s on her way, dude.” Pothan held up his phone. “I just got the text.”
My heart quivered. “Oh.”
I must’ve looked anxious, because Pothan grabbed my neck. “Whatever, dude, just be cool.”
“No, it’s really not a problem.”
“And no hanging around her. Stick with us. You’ve gotta be cool.”
Pothan shook his head, and now he used a finger to tip the bottle in my hand, trying to get me to drink up. A rush of foam surged onto my face, and the bottle fell to the pavement and shattered in a spray of beer and glass.
2
AVANI WAS STILL A HALF hour away, so we hung out in Ken’s car. Nobody talked about their feelings or anything at all real, but it wasn’t unfun. At one point the cops buzzed past, and we hit the floor, and fifteen minutes later we were still crouched in the back and in the wheel wells, passing the two remaining bottles between us, laughing and pressing up against each other. Pothan got on top of Ken, humping him, and Ken rolled his eyes back, pretending to enjoy it.
Ken made fun of me for being weird around Avani.
“Dude,” I said. “I’m happy she and I are broken up.”
“Except you were never together.”
“Then why did we have a breakup conversation?”
“That was all you. Nobody thought you needed to do that.”
“I just wanted to stay friends.”
“LOL, you regret it, dude,” Ken said. “No shame in that. Just admit you regret it.”
“But I don’t.”
“Whatever.”
“Hey, hey,” Pothan said. “He didn’t want her to get attached. That’s fine, dude. You should’ve done the same thing with Laila.”
Even in the dim light, I saw Ken’s ears turn red. This sophomore girl Laila had stopped responding to Ken’s texts, and Pothan kept harping on it. Pothan was like a wolf—he’d find your weak point and attack it, again and again, until you showed your belly.
“Dude,” I said. “Lay off about that.”
“Look,” Ken said, “Laila was crazy.”
“Crazy for your dick, until you effed it up.”
My phone flashed. Dave had texted: his shift was ending. I wrote that I was in the car with Pothan and Ken, watching them try to psychologically dominate each other. It’d be fascinating to create a video game that modeled how guys spend their time testing out weak points, pushing and pulling and slapping and wrestling, to see who’s in charge and who isn’t. Normally Pothan was on top, but Ken had been trying him lately. I was a year younger and usually wasn’t part of the contest, but my trying to get Pothan to stop making fun of Ken had put Ken in competition with me—when you protect someone, you’re sort of saying you’re better than them—so he started in on Avani again.
“You were scared,” Ken said. “You were like a dude who’s harpooned a whale. You want to reel her in, but you can’t.”
I said, “The whale’s your mom, right?”
Pothan whooped, and I popped the door, saying I needed to piss.
I staggered off into the dunes, with Pothan and Ken running and shouting behind me. I found a cactus and pissed facing them, because they’d