him, trying to drag him back like they’re doing now.”
“Listen to me.” Eve’s fingers tightened around mine. “I don’t know the specifics of what you’re talking about, but I do know this. You’re not responsible for anyone else’s actions. And it’s a waste of time and energy to play the I-shouldn’t-have game. You can’t go back and change the past. You can only make a conscious decision not to repeat past mistakes.”
I knew that. I did. But knowing and believing were two very different things. And I’d already made another huge mistake. I’d made a deal with the devil himself, and now I—we—were about to pay the price for that deal.
I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes and fought back the tears that wanted to overwhelm me. I was scared Luc was going to take one look at me and know what had happened today with Gio. But I was even more terrified he was going to hate me forever when he realized what I’d agreed to.
“There’s good in this world, Natalie,” Eve said softly, oblivious to the true turmoil swirling inside me. “I know it’s hard to see that right now, but it’s true. Not everyone is like the people you’ve met. If you look for it, there’s more good than bad out there. I promise.”
She was wrong. The world was ruled by evil people who cared nothing for others. Those of us who actually gave a shit were the ones who were doomed to suffer for all eternity.
11
Luc
Natalie was quiet on the drive back to the estate. I couldn’t blame her. I knew it had been a stressful afternoon for her.
I was quiet too, still processing everything Abigail and I had discussed in our session. And I was trying to figure out how to share some of it with Natalie without stressing her out even more.
I parked the Lexus Fee and Marco had left us to use in the drive. As we moved into the house, Natalie set her purse on the kitchen table and moved toward the fridge. “You’re probably hungry. I’m sure there’s something in here I can make for di—”
“Not yet.”
I closed my hand around hers and tugged her toward me. She turned surprised eyes my way and pushed the refrigerator closed as I pulled her in, but I didn’t let that stop me. As soon as I felt her soft body brush mine, I sifted my fingers into her hair, tipped her face up to mine, and lowered my lips to hers.
Her hands landed on my chest, and she tensed against me. It was a very subtle movement, but I felt it. And I knew it was because this day had not gone as either of us had hoped.
I wanted to change that. I was desperate to show her just how much she meant to me.
The kiss was gentle. Soft. And when she sighed and opened, relaxing just the slightest bit against me so I could taste all her warm, wet sweetness, it was all I could do not to dive in and devour her. But I didn’t want to do that. I had something else in mind. Something I hoped would prove to her I was still the man she remembered.
I was trying desperately to get back to him, at least.
I drew away from her lips long before I was ready. “You’re tired.”
“I-I guess I am.” Her gaze dropped to my chest, almost as if she was having trouble looking me in the eye. “It’s been a long day.”
It had been a long couple of weeks. And I hadn’t made it easy on her. I’d realized that today, and I was determined to fix that as well.
I brushed the silky hair back from her eyes. “I’ll make dinner.”
“You don’t have to do that. I know you’re tired too.”
“I’m not, really.” She still wouldn’t look at me. Just kept staring at my collar as if she was afraid of what she’d see in my eyes. I was going to fix that too. “And you’ve been doing all the cooking. It’s time I started pulling my weight around here.”
“I’m not that hungry, so it’s fine if you don’t want to make anythi—”
“No arguments. I know you haven’t eaten today. Besides, you haven’t had my spaghetti alla carbonara yet. I make a mean bowl of pasta.”
That pulled a reluctant smirk from her even if she still wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Mean, huh? I do like pasta.”
“Good.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead.