feeling like shit, wishing like hell I’d been born into any other family on the planet. “Yeah, I know.”
“They’re not putting any kind of timeline on you,” Marco said. “You and Natalie can stay here as long as you want.”
“For now.” I closed my eyes and breathed deep, thinking about Natalie. She was safe from my family now but...fuck. I didn’t want her anywhere near them. I didn’t want them tainting her in any way.
And, shit, knowing my emotions were so damn volatile these days, remembering what I’d wanted to do to her the other night, how I’d wanted to toss her on this very bed and take out every one of my frustrations on her sweet little body... I didn’t trust myself around her anymore because I knew I was no different from them.
“Let’s worry about timelines when they become relevant,” Marco said, his voice dragging me back from the edge of a rage I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to control much longer. “Fee and I are making dinner for you guys. We got wine and steaks. You’re doing better. Natalie hasn’t killed you yet. That’s worth celebrating.”
He smiled, but I didn’t find any humor in his joke, and he knew it from my scowl.
“For tonight,” he said, ignoring my reaction, “try to just forget about the family and relax.”
Relax? I huffed. There was no way I could relax. Not when I knew my House was lurking in the shadows, just waiting to fuck me over again.
And definitely not with Natalie pressuring me to share my stupid emotions, something I’d decided the other night I’d never do with her, because doing so would undoubtedly unleash a tidal wave of shit I wouldn’t be able to hold back.
Shit that would absolutely make me lose control once and for all.
I managed to keep it together through dinner.
Barely.
Fee and Marco did all the work. Whenever Natalie or I offered to help, they pushed us back to the table and refilled our wine glasses. I had a feeling Fee was trying to get me drunk so I’d let down my guard, but the woman had obviously forgotten I wasn’t a talkative drunk.
When I drank a lot—as I was doing tonight—all it did was make me horny. And every time Natalie laughed across from me at the table or shifted in her seat, I was acutely aware of that fact. Aware but unable to stop drinking because for the first time in several days, I didn’t feel the urge to put my fist through a wall.
I did have an uncontrollable urge to put my hands on her, though, something I was fighting by drinking more, hoping I’d push past the horny phase and plow right on into comatose.
“And then,” Marco said to my left where he sat at the end of the old wooden table, “Felicity’s brother Jasper decides fencing’s for pussies, drops his sword—”
“Saber,” Felicity corrected from the other end of the table.
“Yeah, whatever,” Marco said with a wave of his hand toward her. “And the jackass comes at me. I mean, I should have stabbed him right through the eye.”
“Please,” Felicity said with a roll of her eyes, glancing at Natalie. “My parents were sitting on lawn chairs watching the whole thing. He’s all talk.”
Marco frowned at her. “Your bratty little brother deserves a good ass-kicking.” To me, he said, “The figlio di puttana could use more than a good ass-kicking as far as I’m concerned.”
Felicity huffed and reached for her wine. Across from me, Natalie lifted her brows, completely confused about the inner workings of House Merrick, but I wasn’t in the mood to explain them to her. And I didn’t want to look at her, because every time I did, I just made myself hotter than before.
So I focused on Marco instead. “And what did you do when he came at you?”
“Nothing,” Felicity answered before Marco could. “He sidestepped at the last second, and Jasper fell flat on his face in the grass.”
Marco chuckled and grabbed his glass. “Little prick had dirt and grass all over his nose. It was hilarious.”
Felicity tipped her head and shot him a look. “He is my baby brother.”
“He’s a twat,” Marco muttered to me under his breath. But looking across the table at Felicity, he said, “The military would do him some good. And don’t even try to argue, because you know it’s true.”
Felicity sighed and glanced toward Natalie again. “Jasper’s a little shit. He’s right. But he’s my brother,