you came into my life and opened my eyes to a whole new world. And I fought it. I thought giving in to what someone else wanted made me weak. But I realized... It didn’t make me weak at all. Loving you, giving you what you needed, actually made me strong. It made me powerful because what you needed most was for someone to love you and trust you completely. And I do.”
She drew close and skimmed her fingertips over my jaw. “I trust you with my mind and my body and every part of my heart. And I know you’ll never hurt me.”
I couldn’t breathe. The things she was saying, the way she was saying them... It was as if she climbed inside my soul and made herself at home. “I wouldn’t. Ever.”
Her lips curled again. “Which is why I can let go with you, Luc. I’ve never been able to do that with anyone else. Not even with myself. I didn’t even know I could before you. But now that I do... I need it. When I feel like the world is crazy and upside down, one firm touch from you, one sexy order, one domineering look fixes everything because I know in a matter of minutes nothing else but you is going to matter. All that will matter is what you plan to do to me and how it will make me feel. I don’t have to think. I don’t have to plan. I can let go, give you total control, just be and enjoy. And I know you’ll make me feel good, you’ll make me feel safe. And after, the world won’t seem as crazy or messed up, because I have you.”
I stared at her, completely moved by what she’d just confessed. She made everything I liked, all the dominant urges I’d been fighting, sound... pure. And honest. And wholesome. Not dark and dirty and vile as I’d always believed.
I didn’t want to think my family had finally corrupted her. I didn’t want to believe they’d had any kind of influence on her. But I needed to be sure.
“Don’t you...” I swallowed hard. “Aren’t you afraid I’m like them?”
“Never. You are not like them. Do you hear me? What they do is for power and control. What happens between you and me is about pleasure. And trust. And love. And I love you, Luc. I love the soft, tender man you are, and I love the dominant, creative lover who’s pushed me in ways I never knew I’d like. And I need both sides of you. It’s who you are. It’s who I fell in love with. And until you stop denying that part of you, we are never going to heal from what they did to us. I won’t let them take that part of you away from me. I need you. I need all of you.”
I lifted my mouth to hers, overwhelmed by her words, by the love I felt for her. And when she pulled me in and whispered, “Let me have all of you,” I rolled her over and gave up the fight.
I gave up everything I’d been holding on to—all the pain, all the anger, and every bit of shame I’d been carrying with me since that night.
I gave myself fully to her. And in the process, I gave myself permission to start over.
10
Natalie
I let Luc sleep in. I knew he hadn’t gotten much rest the last few days, so I didn’t wake him when I crawled out of bed. After our conversation last night, I knew he wasn’t just physically tired, he was mentally and emotionally wrung out as well.
Marco and Felicity had left some time after dinner, so the house was quiet as I moved around making tea and straightening up. Aside from the cold, I kind of liked Scotland, what little of it I’d seen, and I could get used to living on a beach. I’d always lived in a land-locked state. The rolling waves had a calming quality I found I needed, especially now.
As I sat on the patio with my knees drawn in and a blanket wrapped around me, watching those waves, I thought about Luc and our conversation last night. I wasn’t sure how much it had helped—or if it had helped. Yes, we’d made love again, but it had been sweet and tender, and although we’d both needed that emotional connection after everything we’d discussed, I still wasn’t sure if I’d gotten through to