the other night. About kids.”
“What about kids?”
“About the fact he’s never having any and if that was a deal breaker for me, we could get the marriage annulled, and you could smuggle me out of the House.”
“He actually said that?”
“Yeah,” I said with a huff. “Verbatim. And since then, he’s been emotionally withdrawn and physically distant. Not as bad as before you and Marco left, but...” I shrugged, unsure what else to say.
“Distant as in...?”
“Distant as in no more sex. None at all. Anytime I touch him, he says he’s tired. He’s done a complete one-eighty in that department.”
“Shit. How did you respond to the kid thing?”
“I tried to be understanding. Honestly, though, it came out of nowhere, and I was a little sideswiped by the whole conversation. I don’t need kids to be happy, but I’d like to have more than a five-minute conversation about it in the middle of the night. And I’d like it not to end with him storming out of the room and telling me we’re never talking about it again.”
“Jesus, Luc.” Felicity shook her head. “God, he can be an ass sometimes.”
“I know.” My shoulders slumped. “And yet, I still love him, even when he’s being a complete asshat.”
I bit my lip, wondering if I should bring up the rest, then figured Felicity of all people might be the only one to put my fears to rest. “Can I ask you something? About how this House works?”
“Sure. Although I might not know the answer.”
I gathered my courage and said, “Luc’s mother said something to me during that ritual, something I didn’t want to think much about, but that I haven’t been able to get out of my head the last few days.”
“Go on.”
I shifted uncomfortably. “Is it possible...” I swallowed back the bitter taste in my mouth. “I mean, could that girl end up pregnant from what they did to Luc?”
Felicity was silent for a minute, then quietly said, “I don’t know. Is that what you think Luc’s worried about?”
“No.” I raked a hand through my hair. “I don’t know. I mean, he hasn’t mentioned that specifically, but after his weird reaction to even the discussion of having kids, it made me wonder if that’s what’s eating at him. Something else he feels guilty about that was not his fault. I don’t want to think his family could be that sick to take even that from him, but after everything else they’ve done, I can’t rule it out. And every time I think about even just the possibility that girl could be pregnant, I feel... wretched. And vile. And it makes me want to strangle every one of them all over again.”
Felicity moved in front of me and braced her hands on my shoulders. “Look at me. I know you’re worried, but I honestly don’t think that’s the case. I hate to use Maricella as an example, but they were willing to do whatever they could to make sure she didn’t have Dante’s child. Luc’s the heir. They’re not going to let some kitten bring his bastard into the world. Luc’s mother was taunting you when she said those words. I truly believe that. She wanted to hurt and scare you, and she did.”
Her fingers tightened against my arms, then gentled. “Natalie, I know you think this is all about Luc, but it isn’t. They might not have raped your body in that ritual, but they definitely did your mind. They want you to be jealous and scared and for all this to come between you and Luc. Even though they approved your marriage, you know they don’t like the influence you have over Luc. And they’re going to continue to do whatever they can to drive you two apart. You can’t let them. You have to be strong and not give in to their manipulations. But I don’t want you to go on ignoring your own emotions and your own fears, either, because that’s not helping the situation. You have to talk to Luc about all this. You have to tell him how you feel. It’s the only way you’re going to heal. And maybe if you do, it’ll encourage him to talk to you about what he’s feeling as well.”
I knew she was right, but I didn’t know how to do that. I could barely get him to stay in the same room with me lately. How was I going to make him sit still long enough to talk?
I closed my eyes