weirdly painful and made her feel like she wasn’t good enough. About how strong Ava had been and how proud she felt. About how much she missed Martha and how it made her realize they would all be somewhere different next year. She wanted to tell him that she was overwhelmed and scared.
When she finally worked up the courage to walk inside, they exchanged an awkward hello.
“Hi, Clarke. How was Stanford?”
“Great,” she said.
She wanted to tell him a million things. But she couldn’t. Because she’d screwed up everything.
Dakota wheeled herself over excitedly.
“CJ. CJ! My ex-friend got a herpes.”
“Dakota!” Her mother was right behind her. “What did I say?” Margaret turned to CJ to explain. “Her friend, former friend, has a cold sore.” CJ could tell that Margaret was trying to be adult about the whole thing, but it was impossible to miss the tiniest hint of a smile on her face. “It’s a bad one.”
“Everyone was making fun of it.” Dakota’s voice was quaking with excitement. “It was the best day ever. I believe in karma now.”
“I feel like maybe we didn’t learn the right lesson here,” said Margaret.
“What? I didn’t laugh. I just felt happy that everyone else did.”
Margaret shrugged and CJ turned to her. “Do you mind if I talk to Dakota alone for a minute?”
“Please do.”
Margaret gave the two of them some space. CJ knelt down so that she was at Dakota’s eye level.
“Are you going to lecture me about making fun of people?” Dakota asked.
CJ shook her head. “No. I wanted to let you know that we’re starting volleyball today. I know that was the sport you were playing when…” The sentence didn’t need to be finished. “I think it’s going to be really fun. But I also know you don’t have very good memories of it. So if you need a little extra time getting out there or if you wanted to talk a little before you play, I’m here. Okay?”
Dakota nodded. “Okay.”
“I think you’ve got this.” CJ put her fist out. Dakota put hers out to meet it. They blew it up.
Dakota didn’t play aggressively that day, but she did play. CJ was proud and wished she could share it with Wyatt. She looked over at him and smiled. He didn’t smile back, but he didn’t look away either. He gave her a small meaningful nod. It gave her hope.
When the session was over, CJ hung around. She wanted to talk to Wyatt without any of the parents or kids.
“Hey,” she said, walking up to him.
“Hey,” he said. “Today was good, I think.”
“I think so too.”
She thought about everything she wanted to say to him. How he was the kindest, most hilarious, and most wonderful person she’d ever met. How she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
“I… I…” She started and stopped. Started and stopped. “I’m really glad that Dakota had a good day.”
“Me too,” he said.
Ava’s mom tapped on her bedroom door. The light was gray outside, and at first, Ava wasn’t sure if it was night or morning.
“Your friend from school is here to drop off your homework.”
Ava looked at the time on her phone. Night. It was nighttime. The appointment with Dr. Clifford had been short. She’d adjusted Ava’s medication and given her a prescription for Ativan to help with her anxiety. She also suggested that they meet again for a longer session in a few days. While Ava’s mom went to the pharmacy, Ava crawled back into bed. She’d slept the entire afternoon.
“I told him it’s probably better that he just drop it off, but he asked if he could say hi.”
He? Ava sat up straighter. “Okay. I’ll be right out.”
In the living room, she found Logan Diffenderfer sitting awkwardly on the linen sectional. He got up when she walked in and made a motion like he might hug her, but then he pulled back. “Hi,” he said, sitting back down. “I sent you a bunch of texts, but you didn’t respond.”
“I haven’t looked at my phone all day.”
They could hear Ava’s mom banging around in the kitchen. Given that her mom had absolutely no idea how to cook, Ava figured that this was just a cover so she could stay close by.
“My mom said you brought my homework?”
“Not really. It’s all online. I just wanted an excuse to see you.”
“Oh?” Ava was proud of herself for holding his gaze. “Why?”
Logan shifted uncomfortably. “Uh… well… I, uh…” Ava had never seen Logan flustered before. It was weird. It was also charming.