of conversation and laughter. The voices echoed off the walls and the sound felt personal. Like it was trying to swallow her up and drown her out. Logan moved closer so she could hear him over the din. “What’s going on?” he asked.
She leaned closer. Their arms touched. She told him about the long bus ride and the tea that tasted like an apple orchard and the moment she found out that she wasn’t eligible for financial aid.
“Shit,” Logan said.
“I’m scared. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
The entire room seemed to be laughing. She knew they weren’t laughing at her, but it felt like it. She looked back at Ava’s painting. The crowd was enamored with it. Martha had never been jealous of her friends before. Not once. The girls always existed as a singular unit, and their successes felt like they were hers too. Tonight something shifted. She didn’t want to drift into the background while they shined. She wanted to do something remarkable with her life too. But how was she supposed to do that when she couldn’t even pay for college? The tears sprang to her eyes. She quickly wiped them away with the back of her sleeve. “Oh my god. Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Logan grabbed her hand. “Martha. It’s okay.” It was a friendly gesture. Just a kind thing. But she needed a kind thing right then. She needed it so badly. He squeezed her hand, and by instinct, she squeezed back. Twice.
She stared up at Logan and didn’t let go. Her hand was still in his when she realized they were being watched. Victoria stood in the doorway. She looked gutted.
Martha woke up from wherever she’d been and dropped Logan’s hand immediately. “Victoria.”
Victoria turned and walked away.
The crowd was so thick that Martha had a hard time catching up to her. By the time she reached the lobby, Victoria was gone. Martha didn’t pause to find the coat-check lady. She didn’t pause for anything. She sprinted right out the door and chased after Victoria. It had started snowing and thick white flakes fluttered all around her. Martha shivered and ran faster. Thank god Victoria’s legs were so short or Martha would never have caught up to her. “Victoria!” Martha shouted.
The girl who was named for Queen Victoria but wasn’t related to Queen Victoria whirled around. She seemed surprised to see Martha standing there. She was especially surprised to see her with no coat and no hat. “What are you doing?” Victoria asked. “You’ll freeze to death.”
Martha didn’t answer. “I thought you were working tonight.”
Victoria’s smile was conflicted and hurt. “I asked my uncle to cover for me. You sounded so…” Victoria shifted. “You sounded like you needed a friend. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You weren’t interrupting anything.”
“It’s fine. I don’t want to get in your way. I didn’t realize that… So you and Dinglehopper, huh?”
“No. No, no, no. He was just comforting me.” Martha was absolutely freezing. She blew on her hands and shoved them into her pockets. “Please come back. We can talk.”
“About what?”
The snow was coming down hard, and Martha had to squint to keep it out of her eyes. Victoria was squinting too. It made everything so much more confusing. It was so hard to read the emotion on her face.
“Just come back. It’s cold.” Martha shivered hard.
“I know. I’m going home. Go back to the gallery. You’re going to freeze out here.”
“I’m fine. I’m totally fine.”
“No, you’re not.” Victoria took off her hat and offered it to Martha.
Martha shook her head. “I’m not taking your hat.”
Victoria didn’t take no for answer. She put it on Martha’s head and pulled it down over her ears. “I’m not mad or anything,” she said. “I’m just hurt. I misread something. But that’s not your fault.”
She turned and walked away, leaving Martha to wonder: Are you hurt because you have feelings for Logan? Or are you hurt because you have feelings for me?
The snow swirled around her and Martha shivered. She was too cold to do anything other than walk back to the gallery to retrieve her coat.
“Do you like bagels?”
This was the first thing Ava’s birth mom said to her after CJ and Jordan left and it was just the two of them staring at each other.
“The cafeteria here isn’t great, but they have bagels. We can grab a couple and talk. Or just coffee. Or water.”
“I’m fine,” said Ava.
They sat across from each other at a long