she settled for an empty four top at the back of the store. When Wyatt arrived, CJ stood up.
“Clarke,” he said. “You don’t have to stand.”
“Blame my dad. It’s how I was raised.”
“Well, I hope you won’t be offended if I don’t do the same.”
She smiled awkwardly. Then she said, “Do you want a coffee?” at the same time that he said, “So, you’re quitting, aren’t you?”
She looked down at the table. “I think it’ll be better for everyone. Especially Dakota. I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
“You’re not the center of the universe, Clarke.”
That made her look up. “What?”
“You seem to think you’re the source of her problems. Or that you’re a failure because you couldn’t fix them. Sorry. You’re just not that powerful.”
She folded her hands and looked down at them. “I want you to be able to bring in someone who isn’t terrible at this. Someone who knows how to say the right things. I’m just making everything worse.” When she looked back up, Wyatt was staring at her, completely unmoved. “Come on, I’m trying to quit with dignity here.”
“Well, you’re doing a terrible job of it. I don’t accept your resignation.”
Someone had carved her name into the table—Laura—and CJ traced her fingers along the lines. She wondered who Laura was and why she’d left her name behind. It made her think about the park. Another thing she couldn’t solve.
“Come on, Clarke. I’m not letting you off the hook. Now come outside with me. It’s a nice day.”
Wyatt pushed himself back from the table and CJ followed him out the door. The sidewalk was too narrow for them to move side by side so they used the bike lane instead.
“That thing that happened in the parking lot,” Wyatt said. “With the swearing and the screaming…”
“It was my fault,” CJ said. “I totally own that.”
“Again, Clarke. You’re just not that powerful. Besides, here’s what I don’t think you get. She needed that. She needed to scream.” He looked over at her. “And for what it’s worth, I think I did too.” CJ saw that his brown eyes were deep and complicated. “You don’t know this because you’ve never asked. And I’m guessing you’ve never asked because you think it would be impolite, but I haven’t been in this chair for all that long.”
CJ had noticed the scars on his arms and the one down the back of his neck, so she’d assumed there had been some sort of accident. “I have wondered. And you’re right. I did think it was rude.”
“I know, Clarke.” He said it without judgment. “A lot of people do. Sometimes the politeness just makes it harder, though.” He smiled at her. “So, is there anything you’d like to ask me?” His expression was warm. This wasn’t a trick.
“What happened to you?” she asked.
“Well, the short answer is extra-long sheets.”
“What’s the long answer?”
“I had just moved into my dorm room at Ohio State. But the thing you might not realize is that college dorm beds need extra-long sheets. Honest to god. It’s the craziest thing you’ve ever heard. But you need them. I was driving back from Bed Bath & Beyond. A guy in a minivan blew through a red light. I never even saw it coming.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why? You weren’t driving.”
CJ shot him a look. “If I have to ask questions that make me uncomfortable, you have to stop making jokes.”
“Fair,” he said. “That’s very fair. We all have our coping mechanisms.”
They heard a bike behind them and moved to the side of the road until it passed.
“One of the things they tell you when you wake up and they drop the news that you’re never going to walk again is that everybody thinks that they’re going to be the miracle. Everybody thinks they’ll be the one to defy the odds.”
“Is there a chance? That you’ll be able to walk again?”
“Do you believe in Santa?”
CJ looked over. She correctly assumed that this was not a real question.
“The injury is at my T10 vertebra. So barring some sort of Christmas miracle, it’s not really that likely. They tell you not to pray for a miracle because the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can start to grieve. And the sooner you grieve, the sooner it gets easier.”
“When did you start to grieve?” CJ asked.
Wyatt looked at his watch and pretended like he was doing math in his head. “When was that thing in the parking lot?”
She glanced over at him. “Are you being serious with me