get cleaned up,” Jackson says to Mila. “You can get a shower and try on your new clothes.”
Jackson hurries her off as I go through the stuff he bought her and realize that Jackson is so damn sweet that I just want to squeeze him and hug him. When Mila finally comes out of the shower, curly hair dripping water everywhere, she runs over to Cayenne.
“Our new child needs the best of everything,” I tell Jackson.
“We can go out later and get her whatever you want.”
“Ooh… what’s this?” Mila says, and we look over as she eyes a gun I have out.
My excitement skyrockets. “What a good eye you have! That, my child, is a Winchester Model 1866, an antique.”
Her eyes get super wide. “Ooh.”
Jackson looks alarmed. “Don’t ‘ooh’ him!”
“Do you want to see more?” I ask, delighted that I finally have someone to show off all my weapons to.
“I do!” She even jumps a little and claps.
“I am loving the excitement!”
“Don’t you dare!” Jackson says as I rush for the stairs leading up to my gun shrine.
“Hurry before the mean parent stops us,” I say.
He grabs her in a lock and holds her back. “No. We are not showing your guns to a child.”
I sigh, devastated that I can’t even make her into a mini hitman.
Jackson spins her around and kneels in front of her. “Leland is trained with a gun. You are only allowed to touch guns once you’re trained. You’re not allowed to touch any of them or play with them, okay? They’re not a toy. You or someone else could get extremely hurt or even die if you play with a gun.”
She nods vigorously.
“Leland, pick up all your guns and lock them somewhere.”
I cringe as I stare at him, positive my once-faithful ears have deceived me. “They don’t enjoy being locked up. They’re not prisoners. They did nothing wrong! And that one’s not even loaded! It’s an antique!”
“What about the rest? How many do you have hidden around that I don’t know about? Six? Seven?”
“Only eighteen.”
Wow do his eyes get wide. “Oh dear god. Outside the gun room?”
“Well… yeah. Do you think I’m an idiot?”
Jackson sighs. “I’m going to figure out something for supper, and you’re going to lock up all of your guns somewhere. Like in your gun shrine.”
I didn’t know having a child would be so difficult. Grudgingly, I gather a few that are “child level” and leave the rest. I mean… is she really going to scale the wall to grab the one tucked along the beam? She’s not a fucking spider.
Then again, I’ve never had a child. There’s no telling what they can do. I eye her suspiciously. “Are you a spider?”
She shrugs. “I don’t think so.”
I wipe the fake sweat off my forehead. “Crisis averted.”
“Do you not like spiders?”
“Depends if they need to die or not,” I say.
She scrutinizes me as I grab another gun that was hidden under the coffee table. “You’re so scary,” she says, yet she’s still right on my ass, following me everywhere.
“Do you know how to fight?” I ask as I set the gun into its case and flip the lock.
She shrugs. “I love kung fu movies!”
“Let me show you how to do a choke hold,” I say as I grab her weak little body. “You gotta wrap the arm around the throat like this and lock it with the other arm. See?”
“I do!” she says excitedly.
“Try it on me,” I say as I kneel down so she can get a better grip.
“Like this?” she asks.
“Yep, and you only pull tight if you want to kill them, got it?”
This seems to astound her. “Wow! I’m that powerful?”
“Very powerful. Let’s try an armbar now,” I say as I lie on the ground on my back. “Grab my arm in your hands—”
“Leland,” Jackson says. It’s a simple word, but the way he says it makes me hesitate.
I smile at him. “Yes, my love?”
“Ooh, you said love!” she says, then giggles as she yanks at my arm, having no idea what she’s doing.
“He’s got cooties, though. That’s why he’s pouting,” I tell her, which makes her giggle more as Jackson folds his arms over his chest.
“Don’t teach her how to fight.”
“Why not? She should know how to fight back,” I say.
He sighs, unable to deny my extremely sound logic, and sits on the couch. “Mila, what’s your full name? We’re going to try to see if we can help you, okay?”
“Mila Jane Roberts,” she says before kicking me right