ruining his life like that. He’s just so fucking happy about it.
He slowly turns to look at me, as if he’s some doll in a horror movie, and the manic look on his face is anything but pleasant.
“Stop looking at me!” I say, worried he’ll read my indecent thoughts of watching the thing burn.
“I can’t!” he says, his lips curving up. “My face is stuck like this.”
“It’s a horror show so please, stop!”
He’s delighted and I don’t know why it makes me so happy. Especially when it’s at my expense. “Look at it,” he whispers.
I can’t stop grinning. “I’m going to burn it.”
“Look at The Fence.”
I shake my head. “It’ll be nothing but a pile of ashes.”
“Kind of makes you wanna do nasty things to it, doesn’t it?”
Not where I thought he was going with it, but I’m unsure why I’m even surprised. “Oh fuck me,” I grumble as I get out of the car.
He pops out, forgetting Sarge before turning back to the car for the dog. By then I’ve made it to the house. I see him stroke the fence out of the corner of my eye before he rushes up to me to unlock the door since he has the keys. He pushes the door open and stops so suddenly that I slam into him.
The house is pure chaos. Cayenne quickly greets us at the door while looking mildly worried and I soon see why. One of the dogs tore up a pillow and stuffing is everywhere but that’s nothing compared to the dog that is currently doing a death kill to something… what… what is that?
“NOOOO!” Leland screams as he rushes forward while the dog leaps through the air, Blow-up Randy’s deflated arm in his mouth, glee filling the dog’s face. “Blow-up RANDY!”
That’s when I catch sight of the deflating blow-up penis as the blow-up doll shrinks in response to the dog whipping his head back and forth.
Leland dramatically falls to his knees and I question why this scene amuses me so greatly. “You are dead to me. ALL of you are dead to me.”
“Maybe that means we should just stick with Sarge and Cayenne?” I whisper in his ear.
He slowly crawls over to retrieve Blow-up Randy’s body and gathers him up in his arms.
Leland holds him against his chest, rocking him gently. “Y-You were such a good blow-up doll. I will never forget you. I will never forget all you’ve done for me. Like the time Ava walked in on you using the toilet, or the time I stuck your little blow-up penis in Jackson’s mouth while he slept. Jackson… will you get the shovel?”
“Wait… for the dog or the doll?”
“It’s a surprise,” he says.
I snort and take Blow-up Randy from him. “Give him here. You call that lady and make her take her dogs back.”
He wipes at his nonexistent tears and nods before grabbing his phone. If I knew it’d be this easy, I would have tossed the fucking doll to the dogs on day one. I look down at the husk of Blow-up Randy.
“Thank you for your sacrifice,” I say as I hold him over the trash can before looking at the holes.
I mean… I can just buy him a new one, but this is the Blow-up Randy. Maybe I’ll try to patch him first. If not, I can just string up his carcass on the wall and I’m sure Leland would still be happy.
When I get back to Leland, he’s figuring out a pickup time for the other dogs and has asked to keep Sarge for a few more weeks, which I think is a perfectly acceptable negotiation. I’m honestly going to be shocked if the woman ever gets Sarge back.
Seventeen
Leland
When the door opens, I’m expecting Jackson. What I’m not expecting is for there to be a child with him. He snuck away from me even after I told him he wasn’t allowed to leave my sight ever again.
“Leland!” Mila says as she comes running into the house and over to me.
I point at the child, wondering if Jackson was aware it was with him. It’s so little and strange maybe he didn’t notice. It was the first time he got away from me since he’d been hurt. Thankfully, nothing new has happened and the contract issuer has been annoyingly quiet. After Dead Burrows (who they presumably don’t know is dead) didn’t off Jackson in a week, they stopped interacting. While I know they’re probably not gone, I feel like they’re trying