about your classes or anything really. Just distract me so I can make it through the rest of the day. Please?”
Chase smirked. “What kind of story? I had a threesome last night that’ll knock your socks off.”
That definitely drew my attention. “What happened to no more meaningless flings?” I asked with my brow cocked.
“Yeah, that was before I remembered how fun meaningless flings can be,” he drawled. I’d had a feeling Chase’s vow of celibacy would be short-lived. I was just thankful he hadn't brought them over while I was staying the night.
Chase and I had grown closer, bypassing the awkward holy crap we kissed and I saw you get a blow job phase. I kept him updated on Kai’s findings with Lex, and he let me stay over the nights I didn’t feel comfortable going home.
“I’d prefer not to discuss your threesome,” I deadpanned.
“Aw, afraid you’ll be jealous, honey?” Chase joked.
“Honey?” I asked. He’d never called me that before.
“I’m trying new nicknames since you’ve vetoed Breezy Baby—which by the way, is really fucking hard. I’ve called you that since sixth grade.” I rolled my eyes as Chase waggled his eyebrows. He was doing a good job of distracting me so far.
“What other nicknames have you come up with?” I asked. As long as he didn’t call me fucking Violet, I was okay. Ugh. My thoughts drifted to Kai again.
Chase snapped his fingers. “Hey! No brooding. I’m trying to find a new nickname, okay?”
I sighed. “Lay it on me.”
“Sand Dollar?”
“Pass,” I snapped.
“Crabby?” Chase offered, alluding to my mood.
I stole a fry off his plate and took a bite. “Absolutely not.”
“Blondie? Pickle?”
I scrunched my nose. “I hate pickles, and blondie makes me sound like a bimbo.”
Chase pressed his hand to his chest. “Hasn’t anyone told you not to stereotype? What about Honeybun? No! HoneyBUM. Yes. That’s the ticket.” Against my better judgment—I didn’t want to encourage Chase—I smiled. “There it is,” Chase whispered.
“There’s what?”
“That gorgeous smile of yours. Can’t be frowning, your birthday is tomorrow.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” I said, standing up and snatching another fry off of his tray. I swept the uneaten lunch Kai made me back into the bag and tossed it into the nearby trash can, including the note. “I’ll see you later.”
“Bye, Honeybum!” he called out, needlessly loud.
I finished out the rest of the school day like a zombie, shuffling from one class to the next. I obsessively checked my phone during passing periods and even left one class to go to the bathroom just to see if Kai had said anything. But my phone remained frustratingly free from his name.
I didn’t even know what I would say if he did reach out, but it would have been nice to know that he was thinking about me just as much as I was thinking about him. Maybe he was just so used to fighting with girlfriends that this didn’t even affect him.
Of everything he said, being called Violet stung the most. I didn’t want to feel like a cheap stand-in for the real thing. Even though Kai insisted that he had planned to end things with her, I still compared myself to my best friend. She was confident. Prettier. Guys would always glance at me and do a double take for her.
And more so, I hated that I was now comparing myself to her. She was dead. I wasn’t. I hated wondering if I’d ever measure up, then hated myself for even feeling like I had to. And Kai was wrong. I wasn’t shying away from happiness. I did plenty of things that brought me joy—including dating him. Just because my journey was littered with guilt, didn’t mean I didn’t enjoy myself. It was just hard. Every smile felt like forgetting. Every good day made me sad that I didn’t have her to share it with me.
After school, I went straight over to Chase’s. I was beginning to think of his house as a second home again. A completely different home than the one that was so familiar to me with Violet. It was a home that Chase and I were forging together out of a need to keep our connection to Violet but also because we didn’t want to be alone.
I walked right in without knocking and yelled out for Chase. I dropped my bag by the door and helped myself to a soda and snack from the kitchen. Chase was already in the living room by the time I got there. He was texting