mention of Kai, I stiffened. “About that…”
Chase perked up. “Did he say anything?”
I shrugged. “He was mostly angry that I showed up. He told me to stay away, but...he called himself a monster. He sounded...guilty about something. I mean, he took me to the hospital. He seemed to genuinely care. I don’t know. I’m going to try and talk to him again.”
Chase nodded and pressed his forehead to mine. The closeness was an intimacy that made me hum with shame. “This was exactly the kind of conversation you wanted to avoid, huh?” Chase asked.
“Pretty much.” What happened to the quiet evening of avoidance?
“It’s getting late, anyway. I should go…”
I snapped my hand out and grabbed his shirt, clutching it in my fist. I didn’t want him to go back to his empty house. “Don’t go. Let’s just sleep, okay?”
Chase kissed my forehead. “Okay. Let’s sleep.”
“Do you need help getting ready for bed?” Chase asked as he got out of bed and peeled his own clothes off. I must have been staring at his defined surfer’s body for a little too long because he followed up with, “Breezy? Did you hear me?”
“Can you just help me out of the bed? I can do the rest myself.” I had to go to the bathroom, but there was no way I was letting him help me with that. Chase obliged, coming over to my side, and sweeping his arm around to my good side, he lifted me to my feet like I weighed nothing.
After I finished my bedtime routine, I came back out into the bedroom and gingerly lifted my shirt over my head.
“Oh shit! Breeze, you’re bleeding!” Chase exclaimed. I looked down and saw that my bandage had a few spots of blood, but nothing as dramatic as Chase made it out to be. I forgot that my mom told me to change the dressing. More like, willfully pushed it to the back of my mind because things like changing my own bandage made me woozy.
“Will you help me? I just need to put on a fresh bandage.”
Chase turned slightly pale, and then he helped lay me back on the bed. He cautiously peeled off the bandage and then winced at what was underneath. I hadn’t really had the chance to look at the damage after I got sewn up, but I’m sure I would be wincing too.
Chase blew out a stream of air and then got to work. After he finished patching me up with fresh gauze and medical tape, he tenderly kissed my stomach, around the spot where the rocks cut me open. The touch of his lips on my skin felt tender but heated. I flushed with awareness.
“You scared me. I hate seeing you hurt,” he said so softly that I almost didn’t hear him. He pulled the covers up around me and slid under them next to me. He put one muscular arm around me, careful to avoid the tender area on my side. He drew me close, and feeling safe and secure, we both allowed ourselves to give in to the sleep we so desperately needed.
I woke up in a tangle of legs. Hot skin was pressed against mine, and my side ached with a searing sort of pain that made me groan. I hated waking up. It was always the same. For a moment, I forgot myself. Life was a normal progression of time and experience. But then the sadness settled like an anvil on my chest. It weighed me down without care. It worked through my veins like poison, making me aware that another day had passed.
“Breeze?”
I opened my eyes and was greeted with the sight of Chase’s hazel gaze and sleepy expression. It was the first night I’d slept deeply since…
Once more, the intrusive grief for Violet sliced through my mind. A memory blazed through me. Violet and I had once driven up the coast in her convertible. I wanted to put the top back on, but Violet said she didn’t want to feel restrained. Wind violently whipped my long blond hair in my mouth. It was infuriating. Violet laughed the entire time, and I remembered wishing bugs would get caught in her teeth.
“How’d you sleep?” Chase asked while lifting the covers up to stare at my side. I followed his gaze to the dressing on my wound, grimacing at the painful awareness of my injury.
“I slept surprisingly well,” I answered him. Admitting that I didn’t toss and turn felt like betrayal.
“Me too.”
A clanging