grimacing with every painful step. My side burned, but it was a welcome reminder of my stupidity yesterday. Now that I’d had time to think about what I’d done, I knew Violet would have ripped me a new one for being so reckless. She was the impulsive one. She was the one that thought about consequences later and acted without care. Not me. Violet saw the beauty in embracing life’s chaos. She liked to remind me that the world was a messy place and that we couldn’t control every aspect of our lives without giving in to the privileges fate demanded of us. It was all give and take. We couldn’t cling to our morals without letting go of our freedom.
Dad texted me a few times, asking when I’d be ready to work at the surf shop again. He needed the free help, but I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to go back there. Violet and I used to work together. When the shop was empty, we’d blast music and dance. I’d miss seeing her flirt with surfers. I’d miss her making fun of my lust for gear.
I opened the door to the coffee shop and went inside. After ordering a black coffee, I found a dark corner in the shop and pulled out my work, thankful for the mindless task of studying to keep my mind busy.
Hours passed. My coffee turned lukewarm. I studied. I crammed my consciousness with geometry, literature, and American history. I didn’t think about anything else, not until the chair across from me scraped across the tile, and a tall figure sat down across from me.
“Kai,” I greeted.
“Breeze.”
I flipped the page in my textbook with a huff. “I thought I was supposed to stay away, huh?” I replied bitterly. “This doesn’t look like staying away.”
Kai reached over and slammed my textbook closed, nearly pinching my fingers. “I want to talk.”
“Now you want to talk?” I asked. “Last time we spoke you wanted nothing to do with me. What changed?”
“Stop being so dramatic. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. How is your side?”
I clenched my teeth before looking up at him. Kai had a dusting of facial hair on his jaw, and his angry eyes were piercing and intense. He gnawed on his lip before scrubbing his hands down his face in exasperation. What was he thinking about? Why was he here?
“I’m fine. It hurts but nothing major,” I replied with a simple wave of my hand. “How are you?”
“That’s a loaded question,” Kai snapped while leaning back in his seat. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Did Chase spend the night?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” My response was too quick.
“It makes sense. You’re both grieving. You both lost someone close to you,” he said with a shrug.
“So did you.”
“I did.”
I started packing up my belongings, no longer in the mood for his temperamental moods and mind games. “Wait. Breeze.”
Kai reached out and grabbed my wrist. The searing heat of his grip made me tremble. My grief suddenly hit me like a tidal wave. It was so sudden I barely had time to blink back my emotions. “What?”
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m just not handling it well. Violet and I had a fight the night she died.”
My ears perked up, and I tried to keep my face still. “A fight?”
“Before the party. Things had been off between us. I said some things I regret.”
“What kind of things?” I tried not to seem too eager for more information.
“It doesn’t matter. It was stupid shit that I shouldn’t have said. Things I only said because I was mad, and I wanted to make her hurt like I did.”
Oh my God. What was Kai saying? I stayed quiet, willing him to keep talking. I needed to know what happened. I needed to know what Violet thought that night.
Kai put his head in his hands and breathed in deeply. “How am I supposed to live with myself knowing that she left this world thinking I hated her?”
This time, I stayed silent because I didn’t know what to say. I was sure Vi didn’t think Kai hated her. They were always fighting and making up. And I was always hearing about it. But what could I say to a grieving man to ease his guilt?
As I was searching for the right words, Kai stood up to leave.
“Are you going?” I asked stupidly.
“Yeah. Listen, Violet left some of her stuff at my place. Makeup, perfume,