a knowing grin. “You’re in luck, because I always have words.”
She lets out a soft laugh. “That’s true. You do.”
“So, what was more impressive tonight? This or the game?” I ask, half-teasing.
Her eyes roll to the ceiling. “You know you can’t make me choose.”
“But I am. Pick one.”
She seems to think. “This was. Only because it’s the freshest thing in my mind. But ask me again the next time you play and win, and the answer might be different.”
“What if I fuck you a million more times between now and then? Then what?”
“You certainly won’t hear me complaining, I can tell you that much.”
My smile starts to fade a little as something hard surfaces in my chest. A knot. I swallow. “So, how long do you think we need to keep this a secret?”
She stills, and stares at me, blinking. “What do you mean?”
“Well, see, I had a hell of a time sneaking in here tonight. The boys are out partying—”
“You could have gone with them.”
I give her a steady look. “I know I could have. I didn’t want to. That’s not what this is about.”
“Then what is this about?”
I sigh, wishing I didn’t have to spell it out for her. “I don’t want to sneak around. Not anymore. It was fun at first, but I just want to be with you. Easily, around everyone. I want us to…be.”
“Alejo,” she says, twisting so she’s on her side, propping her head up with her hand. “You know this has to be a secret. I’ll lose my job. You know that.”
“But maybe you won’t have to. Maybe I can negotiate for us. With Jose. Give him an ultimatum.”
Her eyes flash and narrow. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t do that. And you’re under contract for two more years. They know they have you where you are. And I don’t want anyone to know.”
“Are you ashamed of me?”
“God, no, Alejo. Not even a little. I just…it’s complicated. You know it is. I’m in a tough position, and we have to make the best of it. I’m sorry but this just is what it is.”
“Then what is it? What are we?”
I hate how desperate I sound, but my emotions are running all over the place.
“We’re two adults who enjoy being with each other very much,” she says.
“But I don’t think you get it,” I tell her, getting frustrated.
“What is there not to get?”
“You’re making it sound simple. It’s not so simple. Or maybe it is too simple, I don’t know. But I feel for you, Thalia.” I swallow, my heart pounding. I know I can come on too strong, and I don’t want to scare her, but on the other hand I’ve only ever told her the truth. “You mean everything to me. You are the world. More than the world. You are the sun, Thalia. El Sol. And the sun doesn’t worry about being too bright for the moon or the stars, it just burns and shines. Just like you. You shine. You’re el sol de mi corazón.”
I reach over and kiss her shoulder and whisper the translation, “You are the sun of my heart. I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.”
I dare to meet her gaze since she’s fallen silent.
To her credit, she doesn’t look away. She just holds my gaze with longing burning in her eyes. Longing for me, longing for what could be, I don’t know.
Finally she looks away, rubbing her lips together for a moment before she says, “I like hearing that. Don’t ever stop telling me things like that. I like your truth.”
I frown. “Why do I feel there’s a but at the end of that sentence?”
“There is no but. It’s real. It’s honest.”
A silence falls over us, and I’m troubled by how much she’s holding back.
“You know,” I say slowly. “You can’t keep me out.”
“Keep you out? I let you in the room, didn’t I?”
“That’s not what I mean. You know that’s not what I mean. I mean here.” I tap my fingers along her breastbone, right above her heart. “I know there is room for me here.”
She nods, blinking away.
I slide my hands up into her hair and bring her focus back to me.
I’m going to give her an easy way out.
For now.
“Kiss me,” I tell her.
Her eyes flutter with relief, and she leans forward, pulling me into a deep, dark kiss.
Chapter 19
Thalia
I’m running again.
Down by the river, my feet smacking the pavement as my ponytail bobs behind me.
It’s early, seven a.m., just before the dawn, but since