I dare say it was the same for you. Maybe rules were broken, but they were rules worth breaking.”
My eyes close as the word fuck conjures up so many images. I try to bat them away. “No, they weren’t. It’s not worth it.”
“That’s a lie,” he ekes out, practically seething. “This isn’t over between us. It’s just beginning. I’ve had a taste of you. I’m not going to want anything else.”
The way he says taste makes my legs squeeze together, the heat building in my stomach.
I take in a shaking breath. “Alejo…”
“You’re mine.” He reaches over and grabs my chin, making me look him in the eyes.
God, he’s mad.
“Yours?” I volley back, tearing my head out of his grasp. “You have no right to be possessive over me.”
“And you have no right to tell me how to feel!” He practically shouts that last part. It’s enough to give him a warning look. We need to shut up.
I rub my lips together, at a loss. “I don’t know what to do, okay? I’m just doing what I think is best for the both of us. We need to move on and put this past us. It’s not a big deal. We’re two consenting adults. We’re attracted to each other, we both like each other. We got carried away with our…desires and now, well, it’s time to put a stop to it before it becomes a big deal.”
“You’re playing games with me,” he says, jaw clenched.
“I’m not playing games with you!” I cry out softly.
“Yes, you are. You touched me and you pulled back, told me it couldn’t happen again. You let me kiss you and again, the same threats. Now you fuck me and you’re pulling away, telling me that we can’t. But we can. We just did!”
“It’s not a game…it’s…” I can’t even find the words. “I don’t know. I just know that I keep doing these things and they are the wrong things. I don’t know why…I don’t know what’s happening to me.”
Okay, I need to hold it together. Tears are starting to burn behind my eyes and I’m on the verge of a minor breakdown here.
I stare down at my hands, my hands that were healing Alejo one minute and holding onto him the next. I shake my head, feeling small and vulnerable. “I need to figure myself out. And I’m sorry that you’re being dragged into this mess. I really am. I don’t mean to lead you on, if that’s what I’m doing. I guess I just…”
“You need me,” he says softly. “You like me. I know both those things are true.”
I want to tell him I don’t need him, but that would be a lie.
I think I do need him.
I need him to set me free.
Give me that green light to move on.
But the scariest thing is, what if I end up moving on to him?
What if it turns into something more?
What if it turns into something that can never, ever be?
We’re the impossible.
What if all my fear about Alejo has nothing to do with my job or his age at all but the very fact that he might end up breaking my heart one day?
I close my eyes and take a steadying breath through my nose. I need to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
God, I am such a fucking broken record, I’m starting to annoy myself.
“I’m going to need to be alone now,” I tell him in a small voice, avoiding his eyes.
Alejo stares at me for a moment. For longer than a moment. He stares at me so long that I finally have to meet his gaze.
His hurt and rejection is written all over him.
It makes me ache between my ribs.
I didn’t think it would feel this bad.
And he doesn’t say anything, which makes it worse.
Just opens the door and leaves, shutting it behind me.
It’s like shutting the door on a tomb.
Chapter 14
Alejo
Manuel drops me off in front of Thalia’s apartment at eight p.m. The streets are just waking up for the night and the bar beneath her, Esteban’s, already has smokers spilling out onto the cobblestones, drinking beer. The nights are getting a little cooler now but people will still be eating and drinking outside until winter appears.
I adjust my backpack and keep my face turned away from them. I don’t mind being recognized — I actually like the celebrity aspect of being a famous footballer. But when the team is losing, that’s another story, and right now, the team couldn’t be