nod. “He still struggles with control over his emotions, he makes irrational decisions, and sometimes that happens during the game. I don’t want him to be…compromised. And I don’t want you to get fired. I think you’re good for us. I mean, hey, my shoulder feels looser already.”
“Does it really?”
“Honestly.”
That makes me feel a tad better. “Just so you know, there’s nothing to break off.”
“You know what I mean,” he says. “Just make sure things between you stay professional. I mean, I can’t live your life for you, but if you want my advice, that’s what I would do.”
I cross my arms and stare down at him. “And if I don’t want your advice?”
He laughs. “Then you’re just like Alejo.”
I finish doing the dry needling on him, then he gets dressed and heads to the warm-up room before going out onto the field.
It’s at this point that I put the kit away, tidy up around the room, and go down the hall to my office just as I see Alejo walking toward me from the main doors.
Shit.
I was hoping for a moment to compose myself after that talk with Luciano and get my head on straight.
“Alejo,” I call out to him softly. My voice catches a little. “Can I speak with you in my office?”
His expression as he gets closer goes from happy to see me to something worrisome.
“Am I in trouble?” he says as a joke but I can’t even smile back at him.
I can’t even really look at him properly because I don’t want to be swayed. Just looking at this man can turn me into a puddle of want, and I need to keep my head on straight.
I go into my office and sit down at my desk, telling him to close the door behind him.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
“No,” I tell him. “Sit down. Por favor.” I gesture to the plastic chair in the corner.
He shakes his head, jaw tense. “I would rather not.”
“Fine.” I sigh and put my head in my hands for a moment, trying to compose myself.
“Are you crying?” he asks softly.
I whip my head up. “No. I’m not crying. I’m just…Alejo…you told Luciano!”
He has the nerve to look aghast. “I did not!” he exclaims.
“Yes, you did. He just told me that you told him you kissed me.”
“Oh. Sí. That.”
“Yes, that. Why the hell did you tell him that?”
He shrugs. “I tell him everything.”
“But you could have gotten me in trouble.”
“No, no. Luciano is not like that.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I cry out. “You kissed me. That was a personal thing. That was something between you and me.”
He nods, a softness coming over his brow. “I understand. You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“And because you apparently tell him everything, don’t you fucking dare tell him that we slept together.”
“It wasn’t quite sleeping,” he says wryly, his eyes dancing.
“That’s not funny.”
“Why are you so upset? Look, I’m sorry I told him and I won’t tell him anything else. I won’t tell anyone anything.”
“Good.” I pause, scratching at my temple, my eyes trained to the wall where I’ve hung my degrees. Reminders of what I’ve worked so hard for. “Because there isn’t going to be anything else.”
“What are you talking about?”
I glance at him with pleading eyes. “Alejo. Yesterday was a mistake.”
He flinches like I just slapped him in the face. “A mistake? You thought that was a mistake?”
“Anyone could have seen us.”
“Then we’ll be more careful next time.”
“There isn’t going to be a next time,” I tell him imploringly. “Okay?”
He shakes his head and leans across my desk, bracing himself with his hands. “What is going on in that head of yours?”
“My head?” I cry out. “I’m looking out for the both of us. It was a mistake. I broke a code of ethics. I broke so many fucking rules, I don’t even know where to begin. I didn’t work so fucking hard my whole damn life just to throw it out the window.”
“You’re not throwing anything away,” he says. His eyes seem so dark and troubled and there’s a vein at his temple I have never noticed before. “Let’s talk about this like adults.”
“I am being an adult! I could have lost my job. I took advantage of a client.”
He laughs bitterly. “You took advantage of me? No one took advantage of anyone. We both wanted that. We both needed that. And I’m not going to let you just push me away again, not after what happened. That was the most intense fuck of my life and