can’t be real.
This can’t be her.
My concussion has brought her into my life.
I almost turn around and forget about it, wave her off as a hallucination.
But I feel a pull in my gut, a magnet searching for its counterpart, a heart searching for a home.
I slide open the door, letting the fresh air wake me up, and she slowly turns around.
“Hola,” Thalia says to me in a small voice.
The sun radiates behind her.
Her smile is soft and shy.
Her eyes are full of everything I’d seen in my dreams.
I swallow, leaning against the doorframe, trying to make sense of this, shaking my head.
“Are you really here?” I whisper.
And she nods, her chin starting to tremble. “I’m here.”
I’ve played this moment before in my head, maybe not quite like this but the moment when I might see her again. The things I would tell her. How hurt I was, how angry I was. I would push her away, I would try to punish her, I would shut her out and give her the cold shoulder, I’d turn away whatever she was trying to offer me.
In my head, if she ever came back, I wouldn’t let her in easily, if at all.
My pride was as fragile as the rest of me.
But now, here, with her in front of me, my eyes sinking into her eyes, none of that really matters anymore. It’s still all so complicated but what I feel for her isn’t complicated in the slightest.
You either love someone or you don’t.
And I love her.
I love her more than anything.
I don’t even think, I just move.
I cross the pitch in seconds flat.
My hands slide into her hair.
My mouth presses against hers.
She’s in my arms, in my life, in my heart.
I taste her tears, my tears, her pain, my pain.
I feel everything that we are and everything that we ever were swirling around us like a hurricane, the force unstoppable, the feeling strong enough to bring us both to our knees.
There are no words between us, only our mouths and our lips as they beg for absolution, hands holding tight, hoping for forgiveness.
“You’re here,” I say, pulling back just enough to breathe. I grab her face, pressing my fingers over her cheekbone, her jaw, her lips, marveling at the fact that I’m touching her again.
She closes her eyes, tears streaming down. “I’m so sorry, Alejo. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I tell her, trying to calm her, kissing her lips, the corner of her mouth. “We don’t have to talk, I just need…I need this. To just have you with me.” I kiss her again, her lips opening against mine, pulling her in deep, like I can’t get enough, like I have to devour her right here in case she runs away again.
“Alejo,” she whimpers against my mouth. I bring my head back to stare at her, her eyes searching mine. How I’ve missed these eyes. “I love you. I still love you. I never stopped loving you. I made…I made a mistake. I made a choice that I shouldn’t have made. You were always my only choice and I was too blind, too afraid, to see it.”
I bring her right against me, my arms wrapping around her and holding on as tight as I can as she buries her head against my chest. “What’s done is done,” I tell her, kissing the top of her head. “We can’t change any of what happened. We can only change what we do going forward.” I swallow hard, taking in a deep breath. “And I don’t want to move forward without you.”
“Even after everything I’ve done?” she says, staring up at me. “You still want me?”
I can’t help but smile. It’s like watching the sun rise. “I never stopped wanting you, Thalia. Ever. And I never will. My heart is your heart. Your heart is my home. Even when I was…so hurt, I thought I’d never get up on my feet again, I still had hope somewhere that I would see you again. Even when I heard you went back to Stewart.”
“I never went back to Stewart,” she says quickly, eyes full of panic. “I know what it must have looked like but it wasn’t like that. I was so lost and afraid and he offered me my job back. I felt I didn’t have a choice.” She pauses. “Or maybe I did have a choice. And as much as I hate how it must have hurt you to see me do that, I don’t regret