know, I’m just saying…maybe Mateo would understand about you two. I mean, what are you going to do? Are you going to stay a secret forever?”
I press my lips together before admitting, “I don’t know. I guess?”
“You know you can’t do that. It’s hard. Believe me, I’ve been there. It’s no fun.”
“It’s against the rules for us to be together. Mateo can fire me and he has legal ground.”
“He wouldn’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Listen honey, I do know that. I’m married to him. I know him. He wouldn’t do that. Not unless someone makes him.”
“Like Jose.”
“Yeah.” She looks crestfallen. “I suppose the only way you can really be together is for one of you to sacrifice something.”
I get a chilled feeling in my chest, like it’s made of frosted glass. “And the question is, who does the sacrificing?” Then I quickly wave it away. “But that’s not here nor there.”
“But one day, it will be,” she says softly, looking at me with sad eyes. “Isn’t it best to think of it now?”
Boy. I didn’t think she was such a realist.
I sigh and shove a strand of hair behind my ear. “Yeah. But, I could never ask Alejo to give up his career. He loves the game, it’s his whole life and is special to him for so many reason, never mind the fact that it would be so wrong to everyone else who relies on him. It would be an affront to the whole football world. He couldn’t switch clubs anyway, he’s under contract to Real Madrid for two more years. So, then there’s me.”
I stab my straw at an ice cube over and over. “But if I give up my career for him…where does that leave me? What does that say about how hard I’ve worked and the shit I’ve had to do to get to this position? You know, it’s like when a man gives up his career for a woman, it’s called romantic. But if a woman gives up her career for a man, she’s called pathetic.”
“Or, it could be expected of you,” Vera points out, sucking on the orange slice from her drink. “But don’t get me started on that. We’re women. We’re born with strikes against us. We upset people with any and all of the choices we make. So we might as well not give any fucks.”
“Well, obviously I’ve already made some decision just by choosing to be with Alejo, I guess we’ll have to wait long enough to find out if it was the right one.”
“Look, Thalia,” Vera says, tapping her red nails along the table. “There are people who will understand and people who won’t. I hate to sound cliché, but you really have to look inside and find out what matters to you the most and fuck what everyone thinks. If either choice is going to suck, ask yourself which one sucks less. And make sure Alejo is a part of this process. Don’t leave him out. Communicate. Find a way together.”
“I just want to keep being happy,” I admit. “For once I’m happy, I’m really happy. I’ve never known that this life, this love, that it could be this way. This good. I don’t want that to change, Vera. I don’t want to lose him or the person I’ve become.”
“I know,” she says after a beat, her eyes starting to water. “Some people will tell you that love isn’t worth risking your career for. Some will tell you that love is worth risking everything for.”
“And you? What would you tell me?”
She gives me a half-smile. “You know what I think. The bigger the love, the greater the risk. But love, real, true, can’t-live-without-you love? That’s worth everything in the universe.”
Shortly after that, we’re served with our brunch, and yet I can’t get her words out of my head.
The bigger the love, the greater the risk.
Our love is shaping up to be the biggest risk of all.
Chapter 26
Alejo
“Can I ask you something?”
I glance up from the book I’m reading and take off my glasses to look at Thalia, who is staring at me quizzically.
We’re at her apartment, sprawled on her couch, having “pajama day.” The term is in quotes because for most of the morning we’ve been in bed, naked, and not doing much else than making each other moan.
But we’ve now managed to slip on pajamas and are in the middle of the lounging part, which comprises of me sitting on the end of the couch with her lying across it,