my eyes. My pulse thumps harder.
She touches her lips. “What’s that look?” She shakes her head, drops her fingers. “I’ve never seen you look at me like that.”
I take a step forward. “Frankly, I should warn you—I’m not a good guy, Sulli.”
She frowns. “In what fucking way?”
I let out a short, brittle laugh. “Oh let me count the ways, string bean.”
“Is one the nickname you’ve recently given me?” She crosses her arms. “Because it fucking sucks and only an asshole would call me a lanky vegetable. One thing I’m not and one thing I hate.”
I smile. “We can add that to the list.”
“How long is the list?”
“Well, I’d probably be getting a lump of coal from Santa if I believed in the big guy.”
“Kits,” she says impatiently.
Stop flirting, Nine.
Okay.
“Seriously,” I continue, “I’m not good. I hate when you brush me off, but I brushed you off for a while because your ex told me to stop flirting with you—remember that?”
“How could I not,” she mumbles hotly.
I nod. “I’m a hypocrite, an asshole, a dick—I’m the bad guy. I don’t deserve your attention, but I’m going to fight for it. You need to know that now, okay?”
“Why does it matter now?” Sulli breathes harder, stepping nearer until we’re an inch apart. I stare down at her, only a couple inches taller. “It’s not like I’m getting with the bad boy. The bad boy doesn’t like the hairy Sasquatch—”
I clasp her waist with two hands and walk her backwards. The abruptness steals her words. Our eyes are locked in thirst and history, years we’ve spent together—the sweetness that she knows from me. What I’ve known from her.
The heat is on the other side.
When her back hits the tree trunk, my fingers slide up her strong jaw. I lean in, and she eases back, wide-eyed in surprise.
I stay still. Assessing her headspace. My pulse races. I still hold her cheek, and our breath sounds like heavy panting in the woods.
She eyes my lips.
I eye hers.
And then Sulli leans in.
I draw forward in a flash, bringing her mouth to mine. I kiss Sullivan. I kiss her like she’s rainwater and I’m savoring every drop in the desert. Achingly slow.
Our bodies shift closer. The crunch of leaves beneath our soles is a faraway noise in my head. Each passing second with my mouth against hers lights up my core. Tasting every breath, my tongue parts her lips, and her hips bow into me.
One beat later, her hand dives to my crotch. Sulli squeezes my throbbing cock. Not to get me off.
Feels more like she’s testing how hard I am.
My erection is painful beneath my shorts. Fuck, my body thrums to push into her. To have her pressed even harder against this damn tree. With one hand, I clasp both her wrists and pull her arms high above her head. Pinning them while we kiss.
An aroused noise leaves her lips and enters mine.
Suddenly, she jerks away.
I let go.
Her hands fall.
My pulse flat lines at the sheer dread in her face.
“No, no, no, no.” Her hands are on her thighs, bent over. She’s looking back at the motel.
“Hey, talk to me, Sul.” I can’t fucking breathe. “Was it me pinning your arms above your head? I won’t do that—”
“I liked that—I really, really liked that.”
I run my fingers through my hair. “I should’ve asked to kiss you.”
“I should’ve said hold on or…something. Fuck.” Sulli buries her face in her hands. “I knew you were going to kiss me. I wanted you to kiss me. This is all fucked up.”
“What’s fucked up about it?” My face twists. “Sulli?”
She has a haunted look.
“Sulli?!” I’m freaking out. That I did something wrong. That someone hurt her in the past. Did her ex abuse her? Is she okay?
My mind is racing in a thousand panicked directions.
“I can explain.” She holds out a hand. “But I can’t explain without Banks.”
“What?” My face screws up more.
“We need to go to Banks. Right now.”
I don’t get it. I don’t need to get it. I just want answers.
So I listen to Sulli, and we don’t walk back to the motel.
We run like we’re playing The Floor is Lava. Our feet are on fire. So is my head, my heart, my body—I’m burning alive.
15
SULLIVAN MEADOWS
What in the fuck?
How did I go from having zero bodyguards—pals, buddies, whatever-the-fuck—who like me to suddenly two who kissed me? My mind can’t wrap around the fact that not too long ago, I firmly believed Banks and Akara would rather kiss