my cousin’s number, we start to talk.
“I wish I were there,” Beckett says. “A brewery sounds more fun than having to remind Leo he’s not Romeo for the fifth time. He still thinks he’s God’s gift to ballet.”
Beckett, along with all of Jane’s brothers, were invited to Thatcher’s bachelor party. But he had to pass because of his ballet schedule. He’s not the only one who couldn’t make it, though. Joana Oliveira had a boxing match in New York, so she’s also MIA. I’m a bit bummed that I can’t hang out with her again. When we were all stuck in Scotland, it was nice having someone else be on the “I’m not a Beckett Cobalt fan” train with me.
Lifting my feet to the table, I tuck my legs to my chest. “Maybe Leo is overcompensating for a small dick. You know what they say, big ego, little dick.”
He laughs. “That’s never true.”
I’m smiling. It’s weird I’m smiling talking to him. I’ve lost count the number of phone calls we’ve had since Charlie blackmailed me. Around ten? Maybe more. There have been days I’ve called him twice.
Though, he still hasn’t brought up cocaine or the cruel words he said to me. That topic is a shadowed figure sitting in the corner of our conversations.
“How’s climbing going?” Beckett asks.
I pick at the frayed strings of my anklet. “It sucks I haven’t free-soloed yet.”
“Perfection doesn’t happen overnight.”
My heart pangs, hand tightening on the phone. Those are words we used to say to each other growing up. When we were twelve and doing push-ups in the living room. When we were fourteen and watching our siblings go off to school, while we stayed back for homeschool. When we were sixteen and we declined invitations to parties. To trips. To fun things.
Perfection doesn’t happen overnight.
Being perfect is a fucking drain. I let out a sigh, “One day, we’re going to be old and gray and look at each other and ask, was it all worth it? And I hope we’ll say yes.”
Beckett takes a breath. “In that scenario, are we friends?”
“I guess so.” Lightning cracks outside, and I check the time on my cell. “Fuck, I have to get back.”
“I’ll tell Charlie you’ve successfully filled your obligation today,” Beckett says, trying to be casual but I catch a hint of sadness in his voice.
Pain swells inside my chest. Even if Jane suggested I call her younger brother, I didn’t feel like this call was an obligation. I don’t know when that changed, but I wanted to call him.
Before I can utter those words, Beckett says a quick bye and hangs up.
I stare at my phone for a solid two minutes before I pry my ass off the massage table. Leave it all behind.
Leave Beckett behind.
He hasn’t even apologized. We haven’t even really talked about what needs to be said. I try to mortar all the bricks back up between my heart and my friend who could hurt me again. A wall that no wolf—not even me—can blow down. But with each phone call, I wonder if I’ve built the wall out of twigs and straw this whole time.
I’m in a daze coming out of the massage room and wandering down the hall. Right before, I reach the glass doors to the poolroom, Moffy rounds a corner in a mud mask and dark-green swim jammer, which is basically competitive swimwear. Tightly-fitted, resembles boxer-briefs but covers the thigh.
“Hey,” Moffy says, empty-handed.
Literally, he just had his son in his arms the last I saw him. “Where’s Ripley?” The little dude has spent all morning with us. He even kept sipping out of his sippy-cup every time Moffy took a drink of lemon water. It’s fucking adorable how much he loves his dads.
“I just handed him to Farrow,” Moffy explains.
And I almost smile picturing how that went down. Considering Moffy is wearing a mud mask, his husband probably busted his balls. I’ve never seen anyone get under Moffy’s skin like Farrow. Growing up, if anyone fucked with Moffy, they usually ended up with a black eye.
But after seeing Maximoff fall for Farrow, it made total sense why they click. He’s needed someone who isn’t afraid to be honest with him. Just like Jane has needed someone who’s as logical and considerate as she is, to be balanced as two people could be.
And me…
What do I need?
Those words linger in the back of my head as I tell Moffy, “I thought maybe his teeth were still hurting.” Earlier, Ripley