and he had to fight not to stagger. If his teammates were losing trust in him, wouldn’t operate with him, then he was finished.
“Sir—” he choked, but couldn’t go on.
The lieutenant nodded toward Alex. “Master Chief?”
After a long moment, Alex said, “Geo, if you agree to it, I think we’ve come up with a work-around to the disciplinary action.”
“Anything,” Geo burst out. “I’ll do anything—”
“We’re sending you home,” Alex cut in. “As of today.”
“What?” A fresh wave of horror weakened Geo’s knees even more. “You want me to leave the platoon?”
“Temporarily.”
“What do you mean, temporarily?” With all his might, Geo tried not to sound belligerent, especially since right now Alex was his only ally. “How long?”
Alex seemed to brace himself. “At least ninety days.”
“What? Master Chief—”
Holding up a placating hand, Alex waved him toward an empty chair. “Have a seat and hear me out.”
The last thing Geo wanted to do was sit, but he gritted his teeth and did it anyway. Alex propped his butt against the table next to him, arms crossed over his chest. “Ninety days. And during that time, you’ll seek mental health services.”
Geo dug his fingernails into his thighs. “I’ll do what now?”
“You’ll see someone for your post-traumatic stress.” The lieutenant took over, his gaze implacable. “Witnessing the suicide of a battle buddy isn’t something you’re equipped to deal with on your own. Period.”
“I didn’t witness it—”
“You were steps away when it happened. You heard it. You were first on the scene. Don’t quibble with the semantics, Petty Officer.”
Images that were burned into Geo’s brain fought to materialize. In a surge of desperation, he beat them back.
“Don’t do this,” he said hoarsely. “I’ll do better. I won’t drink as much. I’ll work harder—”
“Work harder at what?” Alex interrupted. “Forgetting? The last thing you need to do is stuff this down anymore, Geo. We think it’s time you deal with it once and for all.”
“By sending me away?” Now Geo didn’t bother to modulate his tone. If he was going down, he wasn’t gonna go down easy.
“Yes.” The lieutenant’s voice was equally firm. “If you were bleeding out on the side of the road, we’d do everything in our power to get you help. A mental injury is no different, and I’m not about to sit here and watch you suffer when I can do something about it.”
“You’re not helping me, you’re—”
Consigning my career to the Dumpster. These guys will never, ever trust me again.
He clenched his fists, the starburst of pain shooting up his arm startling him. Geo stared at his swollen knuckles while the lump on the back of his head gave a sudden throb as if to say, “Remember me? You’re a screwup no matter which way you look at it.”
Blowing out a shaky breath, he forced himself to straighten. “So what you’re saying is that I have a choice: Trident review board, or going home to see a shrink.” When the lieutenant nodded, he made a bitter sound. “Basically, I’m fucked.”
“Well, if you look at it that way, I guess you are.”
Before Geo could respond, Alex held up a piece of paper. “This is Ensign Parnell’s statement. What it contains is enough to send you to captain’s mast at best, a Trident review board at worst. If we forward this up the chain of command, yeah, you’re fucked. Even if you beat it, the fact it’s in your permanent record means you’ll never make Chief.”
Geo flinched. Upward or out. If he didn’t make Chief this time, his days were numbered anyway.
“If you agree to go home and seek mental health services, this statement goes in the shredder, never to see the light of day.” Alex crouched in front of him. “We’ve cleared this with the task unit CO,” he said softly. “He bought off on it with zero hesitation.”
When Geo didn’t reply, he went on, “Don’t you get it? We’re worried about you, and we care. The drinking, the discipline problems, the aggression, that’s not you, and we would be remiss—as your leadership and as your friends—if we didn’t say something, do something.” He paused. “Isn’t that what you tell yourself when you think about Barlow? ‘Why didn’t I fucking do something?’”
The truth of that stabbed Geo like a knife to the throat. Tears sprang to his eyes, and for once he didn’t try to hide them. Seeing them, Alex reached out and gripped his shoulder. “That’s a burden you shouldn’t have to carry alone, brother. Not anymore.” He squeezed. “Take some time,