drove to Lani’s apartment in his pizza-smelling truck, his body numb, drained. All he wanted to do was fall into bed with her and hold her close all night long.
“It won’t matter if we wait to talk in the morning,” he told himself. “I have a week left. Plenty of time.”
He trudged up the walk and slipped the key in the lock. The tiny entryway was dark, although judging by the slight glow emanating from the kitchen, the light over the stove was on. Heading to turn it off, he about jumped out of his skin at the sight of Lani sitting at the kitchen table, her fingers knotted tightly in her lap.
A jolt of unexpected fear made him croak, “Babe? What’s wrong?”
Her eyes darted back toward the door. He turned to look, and what he saw there made his body go leaden with a weary sadness.
“Oh.” He cleared his throat. “Can I ask why?”
“Because I can’t do this.” Her voice was brittle, like glass, the way it’d been when they first met. “This isn’t the life I want.”
What life? A life of loving each other? A life of respect, and happiness? Of family?
He wanted to argue, to plead his case. Whirling away, he scrubbed his hand over his jaw, searching desperately for the words that would convince her to try.
As he did, his eyes fell on the picture of Lani and Tyler. It struck him anew, how Tyler’s seemingly-happy smile masked so much internal pain, a pain so severe it’d wrenched him away from everyone who’d loved him—
He glanced back at Lani’s bowed head in sudden understanding. Her beloved brother had died. Rhys had fallen in love with someone else. The baby’s father abandoned her by not returning her messages. Geo’s job would take him away for months, a job there was always a possibility he’d never come home from.
She’d already dealt with so much loss, uncertainty and—Geo squeezed his eyes shut—far too many goodbyes.
On shaky legs, he made his way over to her and rested his hand lightly on her nape. With a muffled sob, she lifted her face to look at him, her eyes dark with misery yet her mouth firm with resolve. They stared at each other even as a strange sense of peace swept over him.
If what you need right now is for me to leave you on your terms, then sweetheart, that’s what I’ll do.
Because he loved her. And because in asking him to go, she trusted him to know what she needed, and to understand it.
Tears stinging his eyes, Geo took that trust and tucked it away deep inside, even as he cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her oh, so gently.
Then he strode to the door, grabbed up his neatly packed bags, and left.
Chapter Twenty-Three
She missed him with an unrelenting ache.
It was always there—at work, at home, everything in between.
One morning there came a knock on the door, and Lani swung it open to see Devon standing there holding a bag of fresh bagels.
“Food and friends,” she said with a tentative smile, “the best cure for a broken heart.”
“Ha.” Lani stepped back to let her in. “If there’s a cure, I’ll take it.”
They unpacked the bag and made coffee in a companionable silence. When at last they were seated at the table, steaming mugs in hand, Devon said, “If you want to talk about it, I’m listening.”
Lani toyed with a piece of blueberry bagel. Her appetite was nonexistent, like it’d been the whole three weeks Geo’d been gone, but for the baby’s sake she forced herself to take a bite. “I guess the gossip finally reached you, huh?”
Devon gazed at her over the rim of her coffee cup. “Well, when Geo went back to his original platoon and you went radio silent, it didn’t take much of a detective to figure it out. C’mon, honey, talk to me.”
“What’s there to talk about?” Lani shrugged. “We were friends with benefits and the benefits ended.”
“Bullshit.” Devon’s eyes were steady on hers. “If you don’t want to talk about it—especially with me—I’ll respect that. But at least be honest with yourself about what you two were to each other.”
At those words, Lani’s attempted belligerence drained out of her, leaving that ever-present ache behind. “I love him,” she said quietly. “And I sent him away.”
“Oh, honey. Why?”
“Fear.”
Devon’s face softened, and she reached out her hand to cover Lani’s. “Of what? What are you afraid of?” Her voice was exquisitely gentle. “Talk. To. Me.”
The memories